A Brief Look Back

It's after midnight, and I found myself re-reading some of my old blog posts.

I was SO on track physically back in 2010. Of course, then I got pregnant with my second son, which is why I was 14 lbs away from my overall weight goal. I feel good knowing I'm back on track once more. It has been 12 days since I began my exercising, and 3 days since I began my dieting. I was 155 lbs when I started it all, and today I was at 150 lbs. My waist is already an inch smaller than it was last time I measured it, too. I get full faster, and I have more energy. Nice to see I'm actually going to achieve my goals this time. I hate when I keep saying "oh I'm going to do it this time for sure!" and never actually stick to it.

I was so addicted to World of Warcraft, just earlier this year. Before my medication, that game was my world-- my life. I looked forward to playing it, not just as entertainment but also as a way to feel like I've achieved something each day. A few minutes ago I was watching my husband log onto his account just to see how things have changed with the new expansion pack, and it felt like I was looking at a strange new game that I had never seen before. I didn't recognize any of the other players online, I knew that I was no longer the "WoW Expert" I once was, and I felt detached from it altogether. It's like in the movie The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. (Spoiler Alert in this metaphor!) At the end of the movie, Aslan (the lion) tells the kids that they have outgrown Narnia and, sadly, will never return. I feel very much like that is what happened to me. Like WoW was some mystical place I could run away to, where I was a queen and I was important and respected and looked up to. But I've outgrown it, and I will never go back. It's sad, looking back and remembering all the things I was in the middle of when I quit... but I just don't feel connected to it anymore, and I have a real life now. Magical fairy tale lands are wonderful to dream about and visit while reading a good book series, but you just can't live in them forever.

Well, I just wanted to talk about how I was feeling about all this, having re-read my old posts and seen WoW again after so long. Looking forward to the next few months, losing more weight, gaining more energy, and working more on my real life.

Off to bed now. Good night. ♥