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Saturday, September 29, 2012

That Moment When...

You know those sayings people have, that start with "That moment when..." and finish with a common scenario or feeling? Such as "That moment when you hold the door open at Walmart because you think someone is behind you, then realize you're holding the door open for no one." I seem to have a lot of these "moments when" and I would just like to share a few that I've had this week.

That moment when...
  • You realize someone has been talking to you for nearly 5 minutes and you have no idea what they've said because you were fascinated by a bug.
  • You yell at the dog for putting teethmarks on your child's toy, then watch your child put it in their mouth and chew it.
  • Everyone else you know is posting about how happy they are and how perfect their lives are, and you realize it just makes you sad about your own life.
  • You look in the mirror and actually SEE your own weight loss.
  • Something makes you laugh so hard that you cry, until you find yourself no longer laughing... just crying.
  • You watch an episode of a beloved TV show, and when it ends, you are crying and laughing at the same time and everyone around you thinks you are insane.
  • You get excited about something then realize it's not happening for another 3 months.
  • You get excited about something else, then realize it also is not happening for another 3 months.
  • Your propane tank was just refilled and you are so excited that you jump in the shower without remembering that you still have to light the pilot light on the water heater. (Not. Fun.)
  • You wish you were in another state... or at the very least, another state of mind.
  • The day you decide to change your tire is the day it rains for the first time in a month.
  • You almost forget to put pants on before you leave the room/house. (I caught myself though, thank god!)
  • You consider putting on shoes, then decide you're only going to be outside for a few seconds, and the first thing you do is step on glass.
  • You are about to relapse into a bad habit, but the Universe stops you when you are at your lowest point. (Thank you for that, by the way.)
  • You hear your three year old son arguing with your friend, only to find out the entire argument is nothing but "You're a douche." "I'm not a douche... YOU'RE a douche."  "You're gay."  "I'm not gay... Daddy is gay? Mommy is gay?"
  • You run out of paper towels and the next few days are the messiest days you have seen in months.
  • You feel fat, as if you have gained a few pounds overnight, and your stomach seems to stretch out farther than it ever has before, yet the scale shows you've lost a pound...
  • You're so bored you zone out, and suddenly an hour has past and you have nothing to show for it.
  • You know you want to watch a kick-ass, action-filled movie... but have NO clue what you want to watch.
  • You realize that no one was going to listen to you no matter what you said, and that you were destined to spend the day alone, lonely, and completely bored out of your mind.
  • This incredible idea comes to your head on how to solve a problem that's been bugging you, and it's so perfect you don't know why you didn't think of it before... then you test it out and it doesn't work. THAT FEELING.
  • You're wearing short sleeves and you're cold, but a jacket makes you too hot, and you spend an hour trying to find a happy medium between taking the jacket on and off, or only wearing the sleeves up to your elbows.
  • A random thought crosses your mind during the day that reminds you of something hilarious, and you start bursting out laughing... while everyone around you stares at you as if you're insane.
  • You get that feeling, and you start believing.
  • You think a tarot card reading will give you advice and tell you what to do, but all it does is tell you everything you already know and tell you that YOU have to make the choice yourself, and the time to decide is NOW.
  • You want to be alone, yet you know the reason you're depressed is because you're alone.
  • You realize you've just spent three HOURS editing a picture of yourself in photoshop making yourself appear thinner and more beautiful... oh, and with purple hair.
  • You miss someone, and wish they were there with you... but they are a fictional character and it is impossible. =(

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