I'm Glad My Parents Taught Me That

This is just a few things I'm glad my parents taught me growing up, no matter how much I complained and dragged my feet along the way.

1. To make the bed: I used to get frustrated at this one. Why should I make my bed when I'm just going to sleep in it again tonight? Now I know that my bed is the centerpiece of my room, and if it isn't made, the entire room looks messed up no matter how clean the rest of it is.
2. Doing the dishes after every meal: It seemed so time consuming, and I used to think "this can just wait till after dinner before I go to bed..." Now I know that if you get them done as they are used, your kitchen stays clean longer and looks nicer, and you have a wider range of dishes to use at any time of the day when there isn't a stack of them in the sink with food all over them. Yuck.
3. No food in the bedrooms: I am the first person in my house to bring my plate to my computer. But after battles against roaches, ants, and mice in an old country house that would normally have them anyways, I know now that if you keep food confined to certain areas of the house, you keep the pests away longer rather than inviting them in. It also helps keep the rooms looking (and smelling) nice.
4. Clean the hair out of the drain after a shower: Okay so I'm the only person in my house that this applies to, but I used to forget all the time and I never had a second thought about it. But when the tub stops up or drains slowly now, I know it's because of me. Clean it out after every shower and the kids' bath will drain properly, so after they are dressed there will not be any water leftover for them to jump back into. Which they do often.
5. Mowing the lawn: I used to hate doing this. It didn't seem like it should have been my job anyways, and it was hard labor outdoors--and I completely despised all three of those words. Now I know that if my husband gets out there and shreds the pastures, I can easily get out there and push-mow the yard. Glad I know how to operate the lawn mower.
6. Anger management and respect: I wasn't the child with the anger problem, though I could have easily been. I know I have a short temper. But thankfully I also had parents that taught me to respect my elders and keep my anger in check; so now I know how to handle authority (which helped tremendously in the Navy) and I know what it's like to be on the other end of the argument, so I feel as if I have more patience towards my kids. It has also done wonders when interacting with my in-laws; no matter how frustrated I might get about something, I know how to stay calm and keep a smile on my face.
7. Folding and hanging laundry: I hate doing this. I always have, and I probably always will. It's not that it's hard, and it's not all that time consuming either. But there's just something about it that drives me crazy and makes me dread laundry day. But I know, after years of being told to get my laundry done, that it really does have to get done once it comes out of the dryer. Otherwise piles of laundry get stacked up by the closet, you have to dig to find your favorite shirt in the morning (if it's even clean), you start to get clean and dirty laundry mixed up, the cat starts sleeping in it, and--not surprisingly--mice are attracted to it as well. But your floor stays clean and you know where all your clothes are if you just fold them and hang them from the get-go.
8. Cooking: Every one of my parents taught me how to cook something different. That's about five different favorite foods that I am glad to know how to make. Waffles and ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce from my stepmom, sausage and rice casserole with cream of mushroom soup from my mom, meatloaf from my stepdad, eggplant parmesan from my dad, and chicken and cream cheese crescent rolls from my dad's girlfriend. Not that I ever hated cooking, I love to cook. Especially baking. But thanks to my parents I know how to make more than just hot dogs and macaroni every day. =)

How Do You Write A Story?

I found myself with so many ideas for my book, that I had to stop and take a moment to remember exactly what it is that will make this a "book" and not just a bunch of pages with words on them. This is really just my thoughts on the progression of a story, to help me stay organized and on-topic.

• You have to have a main character. You can have more than one, but at least one.

• You have to summarize and define this character in their life before the story takes place.

• Something has to happen; some turning point or event that sets the main character on a path to change who they are.

• There has to be a journey of some sort through the story, whether that journey is physical, mental, emotional, or all three combined.

• There needs to be some sort of negative or “evil” taking place throughout the main character's journey, something that will eventually collide paths with the main character to result in a confrontation of some sort.

• The evil needs to have an uprising. It needs to appear as if evil may just triumph after all; though of course we all know it wont, there has to be a turning point where it seems as if it will.

• There has to be a confrontation, the one that resulted from the main character's and the evil's plot lines colliding.

• There should be a twist. Something unexpected that makes you gasp in surprise (or alarm even), something that captures your interest and makes you want to read more. Where this twist takes place in your story is entirely up to you, but most times it's at or near the end.

• Evil will be vanquished. In some way or form, there should be an ending in which good rises up against evil and triumphs, setting the world right again.

• There is typically a period of “floating” after the battle, in which perhaps there is sadness or a sense of grieving over something lost. Good always loses something in epic battles, and at some point when evil has been conquered, good takes the time to show respect and care for lost loved ones and destruction.

• The conclusion of the story should tie up all the loose ends. What happened to the evil? What will happen to the main character(s)? What dynamic changes have occurred to form the new being that the main character embodies? What happened to everyone else that was important to the storyline? Where will it all go from here? You don't have to set it up for a sequel, but you should give the readers a sense of closure, so that when they turn the last page, they aren't left with a feeling of emptiness, or a million questions (unless of course you ARE writing a sequel, in which case questions and curiosity are a good thing... though emptiness is never something you want to leave someone with).

Well, I think this ought to help me organize my thoughts. I've spent a good part of today doing a bit of research, so I'm hoping I can pull this together and form a good storyline, with characters that the readers can associate with things/people/creatures and develop feelings or emotions towards, to sort of "connect" to. I hope the worlds I create are worth reading about, because in my head I really would love to visit each and every one of them.

Author in the Making?

I was about to start this post off with "Wow, it's been a while since I've posted, huh?" But then I noticed I last posted within a week, so it has in fact not been a while at all. However, I had good reason for feeling as if it's been quite some time since I've been on this blog.

A few weeks ago, hubby ordered me a new tarot deck online. Not all of you know that I'm interested in that sort of thing-- well, you do now. My mother introduced me to the cards when I was in high school, and although I've been out of practice and out of touch with the cards for a few years, I recently decided to reconnect with my intuition and begin a new deeper study of the cards, on a much more personal level. Four days ago, my cards arrived in the mail. Since the first day I've had them, I have told myself that I was going to sleep with my cards under my pillow for a week, to allow my subconscious to "introduce" itself to the cards, and to transfer my thoughts and emotions into the cards while I slept, during which time my subconscious would be at it's strongest.

Well, each night since I've begun putting the cards under my pillow, I have had dreams. Strange vivid dreams, some of which have been so intense and detailed that it's taking me days just to write it out in my dream journal. If you haven't already noticed, I have my four main blogs linked to each other on each blog's page. Mommy's Personal Space is this one, my main everything blog; My Sleeping Journey is my dream journal where I record--obviously--my dreams; Words to Emotions is where I write any poems and songs in my head (though I haven't added to that blog in a while); and Crystal's Tarot Journal is my newest blog, where I am documenting the study of my cards as I journey into my subconscious.

One of my most vivid dreams, one I had two nights ago, tells a story of my meeting and traveling with The Dragon King. It was such a detailed dream that I have had to separate the post about it into two parts, and I'm still writing the second part (which may end up being separated into a THIRD part!). I have shown this first part to a few people, and have had people tell me I should turn this story into an actual book.

Now, when I was a little girl, one of the many things I wanted to be when I grew up was an author. I wanted to write books and have them published and have many many adoring fans and dedicated readers; I wanted to write a book series and become famous. When I was about 12 I began writing a book; I took a tweety bird notebook I had and wrote out a full 15 pages front and back... then lost the notebook. That was a HUGE blow to my confidence, and I gave up writing. To have lost so much of a story, it just didn't seem worth it to try any longer.

Writing has stayed as a dream of mine, quietly biding its time in the back of my mind until I was ready to tackle it again. I love to write, I love to read, and I love the things that take place inside my head and the opportunity to share those things with the world. The problem I face is that I have never wanted to stick to something that I had to really concentrate on and think hard to write about. This dream--my Dragon King-- is something I don't have to think about at all. I know him personally, in this dream, and I love the adventure he took me on. I think I really could write a book about it.

So here I am, my own Self as an open book, ready to go on a new journey--ready to wander back down a familiar path--and ready to finally share my dreams with the world (literally). Perhaps one day I'll have a book published; perhaps you will all be walking through a book store and see my name on the Bestsellers list. Here's hoping. ♥

Recipe: Banana Cookies!

 Who doesn't love a good cookie, right? Well, my friend Megan found this fantastic recipe online for banana cookies. She was telling me about it one day while she was baking them, and I just had to try it for myself. It's a great recipe, and they came out delicious. More like mini cakes than cookies, with a great banana flavor.

However, as good as they were, we both agreed they needed something more. Like, some small change to them to make them even better. So after doing a bit of testing today, I found a few changes that I am keeping in my personal version of the recipe, and I'm going to share with you my new and improved banana cookie recipe.

Preparation time: 8 minutes
Bake time: 11-13 minutes

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup butter
1/2 Cup brown sugar
1/2 Cup white sugar
1 egg
1/2 tsp almond extract (vanilla extract works well too, if you don't have almond)
1 Cup bananas, mashed
1 tsp baking soda
2 Cups flour
Pinch salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice
Optional: 1 Cup chocolate chips or walnuts, or both

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper, or spray with cooking spray. (I use the cooking spray.)
2. Cream butter and sugars. Add egg and continue to beat.
3. Mix mashed bananas and baking soda in a bowl; let sit for 2 minutes to froth a bit (this gives the cookies their rise).
4. Mix bananas into butter mixture. Add almond extract.
5. Combine flour, salt, and spices. Add to banana mixture and mix well. Add in any extra ingredients (chocolate chips or nuts).
6. Drop in large Tablespoons onto baking sheet. Bake for 11-13 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on wire racks.

There are other options and experiments

Plain banana cookies

Chocolate chip banana cookies

you can try as well. My friend Megan mixed in mashed strawberries to make Strawberry-Banana Cookies. I tried with both almond and vanilla extract; although both were better than the original recipe in my opinion, the almond extract just added a little something extra, though I can't quite explain it.

You can find the original recipe here. I encourage you to experiment with it yourself, find something you really like, and make it your own! That's the best part of baking... making new (tasty) discoveries. ♥

You Never Do Forget Your First Love

Ah, dreams. They can be meaningful, heartbreaking, sweet, exciting, funny, confusing... what can't a dream be? Dreams-- they can also be reminders of the past; of what once was, and what might have been.

They say that you never do forget your First Love. It's one of those memories that stick with you, like a recurring dream, of a time long ago when you thought you had everything you could ever want in another person. When you thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together, and back then, just that simple thought made you insanely happy.

I had a dream last night, one that reminded me of that First Love. It made me realize that the person I had always thought was my First Love... wasn't. It was someone else the entire time, and I just had never noticed it before.

I once made a blog post about who I originally thought was my First Love. A boy named Charles. I had been head over heels for this boy, and it made no sense to anyone. Charles had been abusive-- mentally, emotionally, and physically-- and by the time he had finally left my life, I wanted karma to give him exactly what he deserved. I could look back and see the feelings I once had for him, but never again could I look back fondly; I only remembered kicking myself for not seeing his issues sooner. For letting him take advantage of me the way he did.

Then there was Kenny. This guy... Oh, this guy. He was handsome, funny, caring, sweet, friendly, NOT abusive, my dad liked him, he was more than willing to help my dad with work around the house, he stood behind me in whatever hobbies I had and encouraged me to continue with them, and he never EVER tried to push me to do anything I didn't want to do.

I ended up liking Charles and Kenny around the same time, and I think that's what confused me. I remember one summer, after school let out, I hadn't stayed in touch with any of my friends. Halfway through summer, there's a knock at the door. It's both Charles AND Kenny (they were best friends) and they were both hurt that I didn't call, I didn't visit... haha, I still can't believe they both showed up. I should have seen right then that they both liked me... But I didn't. Since they were best friends, who both liked the same girl, there was a lot of drama and mind games flying around. Kenny asked me out first, though Charles somehow managed to convince me that Kenny didn't like me as much, and that Kenny begged for the chance to date me first because, as Charles explained, Kenny knew I would be better off with Charles and just wanted the memories of knowing he had dated a girl he liked. Which of course, all turned out to be part of the mind games.

In the end, I hurt Kenny and Charles hurt me. And Neither have ever let me forget that. Charles, although out of my life for almost 8 years now, gave me a horrifying memory that I'm sure will haunt me for many more years to come. Kenny, who has only been out of my life for 5 years, had always reminded me every time we talked about how much I hurt him, and how he cared about me and I abandoned him for his best friend, and then broke up him and his girlfriend after that by informing her that he had kissed HER best friend! So much high school drama... I am SO thankful to be out of all that, and married to a wonderful man who I DIDN'T know in high school. I'm not sure why, but not knowing him back then is part of what makes my husband even more amazing.

I am married now, with two children, living a very fulfilling life out in Texas. I don't really look back at the past, because there is nothing for me except for life lessons that I have already gleaned knowledge from. Sometimes it's fun to revisit the past, such as favorite childhood memories or family vacations. I don't usually think back to high school very deeply, because there is a lot I feel I could have done better during those years. And it doesn't help to know that I do regret treating Kenny the way I did, and that if I had it all to do over, I think I would have given Kenny the chance he truly deserved with as much love as I realize I had for him.

I know that the only reason this came into my mind is because I'm planning a trip to Florida very soon, in the next month. I'm going to see my family, and if all goes well, I'll even be able to see a few of my girlfriends from high school, most especially my best friend who I have known since first grade, Shannon. The reason Kenny popped into my dream is because I'm terrified that he will somehow know I'll be there, and that he will somehow find me and show up. Which is ridiculous...he joined the Navy around the same time I did, and last I heard (well, a few years ago) he was off in some other state, still in service.

I don't love him anymore. Not really. You never do forget your first love; I know he will probably be a regret I have for the rest of my life, and some part of me will always love him, but he is a part of my past that I am more than happy to leave in the past. I will probably never see him again, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I think some things are best left as memories. I want to remember him as that sweet boy from high school, and I know that meeting him ever again will more than likely change that. Whether for better or worse I don't know, and I don't care to find out. It wouldn't be too bad to see him at a high school reunion one day, and see that he had gotten out of shape, went bald, lost his teeth, and works at McDonalds. I mean, just for the sake of losing my past regrets. But in the end, I have moved on, and for the better.

I married the most wonderful man. We have the most beautiful children. We live in the most amazing place, out in the country, with the most stars I have ever seen in the sky. My life is far from perfect, but I wouldn't change a single thing about it. Every choice and mistake I made in my life has all come together to bring me to where I am today; it has all made me who I am; it has shaped my future in a way I'm very much looking forward to.

I just found it interesting that I had this epiphany, about a lost love in my teenage years, and discovered through a dream told to me by my subconscious. Just a manifestation of my fears and anxiety about going back to the town of my childhood.

Do you remember your First Love? Are your memories positive or negative? Happy or sad? When you remember them, are you satisfied or filled with regret? Are you overwhelmed with a flood of emotion, or have you moved on?

That Moment When...

You know those sayings people have, that start with "That moment when..." and finish with a common scenario or feeling? Such as "That moment when you hold the door open at Walmart because you think someone is behind you, then realize you're holding the door open for no one." I seem to have a lot of these "moments when" and I would just like to share a few that I've had this week.

That moment when...

• You realize someone has been talking to you for nearly 5 minutes and you have no idea what they've said because you were fascinated by a bug.
• You yell at the dog for putting teethmarks on your child's toy, then watch your child put it in their mouth and chew it.
• Everyone else you know is posting about how happy they are and how perfect their lives are, and you realize it just makes you sad about your own life.
• You look in the mirror and actually SEE your own weight loss.
• Something makes you laugh so hard that you cry, until you find yourself no longer laughing... just crying.
• You watch an episode of a beloved TV show, and when it ends, you are crying and laughing at the same time and everyone around you thinks you are insane.
• You get excited about something then realize it's not happening for another 3 months.
• You get excited about something else, then realize it also is not happening for another 3 months.
• Your propane tank was just refilled and you are so excited that you jump in the shower without remembering that you still have to light the pilot light on the water heater. (Not. Fun.)
• You wish you were in another state... or at the very least, another state of mind.
• The day you decide to change your tire is the day it rains for the first time in a month.
• You almost forget to put pants on before you leave the room/house. (I caught myself though, thank god!)
• You consider putting on shoes, then decide you're only going to be outside for a few seconds, and the first thing you do is step on glass.
• You are about to relapse into a bad habit, but the Universe stops you when you are at your lowest point. (Thank you for that, by the way.)
• You hear your three year old son arguing with your friend, only to find out the entire argument is nothing but "You're a douche." "I'm not a douche... YOU'RE a douche."  "You're gay."  "I'm not gay... Daddy is gay? Mommy is gay?"
• You run out of paper towels and the next few days are the messiest days you have seen in months.
• You feel fat, as if you have gained a few pounds overnight, and your stomach seems to stretch out farther than it ever has before, yet the scale shows you've lost a pound...
• You're so bored you zone out, and suddenly an hour has past and you have nothing to show for it.
• You know you want to watch a kick-ass, action-filled movie... but have NO clue what you want to watch.
• You realize that no one was going to listen to you no matter what you said, and that you were destined to spend the day alone, lonely, and completely bored out of your mind.
• This incredible idea comes to your head on how to solve a problem that's been bugging you, and it's so perfect you don't know why you didn't think of it before... then you test it out and it doesn't work. THAT FEELING.
• You're wearing short sleeves and you're cold, but a jacket makes you too hot, and you spend an hour trying to find a happy medium between taking the jacket on and off, or only wearing the sleeves up to your elbows.
• A random thought crosses your mind during the day that reminds you of something hilarious, and you start bursting out laughing... while everyone around you stares at you as if you're insane.
• You get that feeling, and you start believing.
• You think a tarot card reading will give you advice and tell you what to do, but all it does is tell you everything you already know and tell you that YOU have to make the choice yourself, and the time to decide is NOW.
• You want to be alone, yet you know the reason you're depressed is because you're alone.
• You realize you've just spent three HOURS editing a picture of yourself in photoshop making yourself appear thinner and more beautiful... oh, and with purple hair.
• You miss someone, and wish they were there with you... but they are a fictional character and it is impossible. =(

Little Boy Lost

Anyone who has my husband on their facebook page knows that our three year old son went missing last night. Luckily within two hours he was found and brought home safe. A huge thank you goes out to everyone who helped search for him, and everyone who had him in their thoughts and prayers. Thanks also to the Universe for watching over him and protecting him while he was away from us.
A lot of people are asking what happened, so I figured I'd write the story out, just like I did when he got bit by the copperhead last summer.

Just typing that makes me feel so bad for my baby, he's been through so much and he's not even 4 years old! =(  Well, here's what happened...

~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~  ~*~

 Last night, around 9:00pm, I have both my kids in the living room watching Finding Nemo. The movie was just ending, and they were going to be put to bed as soon as it was over. Mike was working late, and was on his way home. I went to the bathroom, and came out about 15 minutes or so later. I remember being happy, because for the first time in so long, I was able to shut and lock the bathroom door and count to three without having a child knocking, or crying, or saying "Mama, I go pee toooooooo!" The living room was quiet, and I thought they had fallen asleep. But when I looked, they were both gone. The front door was slightly ajar and I then thought that they must be on the porch; there are some nights that they open the door and sit on the porch, loving their dog to death.

Levi was on the front porch, right by the door. David was nowhere to be seen. I got worried, because the sun was already down. The lights were turn on on Mike's tractor, and my first thought was that Mike had come home and went straight to the tractor before coming inside. He's done that before, so it wasn't impossible. And with the bright lights of the porch and tractor, the darkness outside the yard seemed even darker, making it hard to tell if Mike's dark red truck was in the driveway. But the closer I got to the tractor the more I was realizing that no one was out there. That's when I started freaking out, and calling out for David while running everywhere I could think to look.

I checked in the house, in every room, every closet, every cabinet, I even checked the dryer! I was calling and calling but couldn't find him. I didn't understand why he would run off when it was already dark out, he's never done this before. I immediately grabbed Levi, went to my truck, and started toward the east side of the place, to my husband's deer feeder. I assumed David would head in a direction that his daddy typically goes, since Mike still wasn't home yet. Just as I was heading that direction, I see headlights at the gate and knew Mike was home. I called him, and asked him if he saw David on the driveway. He cautiously answers no, and I could hear him freaking out when I said "David is gone." Through a bunch of curse words I made out that he wanted me to head back to the house, where he jumped in the truck with a spotlight and we started searching again.

We checked his deer feeder again, and we checked the deer feeder to the west (we like the thought of deer running happily and safely around the property-- they are wonderful sights to see when doing the dishes in the morning). Still not seeing him, we head down the driveway, shining the spotlight around the edge of the lake. We get down the driveway, turn around, and head back to the house. I get out of the truck and take Levi in the house, Mike heads back out in his truck around the place. Mike calls his parents; I call 9-1-1. I don't know if Mike called anyone else, but I also called our best friend Chris.

Within half an hour, the property is teeming with spotlights, headlights, flashlights, cell phone lights-- any light anyone could find. It's now 9:53pm. I speak to a police officer, giving a description of David and what he's wearing, although there wasn't much to say, since he was in just a diaper. I confirmed that I had double, triple, and quadruple checked the house, and as everyone went off in different directions calling out for David, I felt useless stuck at the house. But I knew that someone had to stay home with Levi; I had carried him around through the pasture for a good 20 minutes until I noticed he was getting cold and mosquitos were flocking to us. I took Levi inside, washed him up, changed him, and the two of us sat on the front porch, praying and awaiting any sign that our beloved David was safe.

Levi was doing his best to cheer me up. I have to give credit to a 17 month old child who has no idea what is going on, he sure knew that something was wrong, and that it was about his big brother. He kept smiling up at me and patting my shoulder, and giving me kisses and hugs. Every smile from him brought tears from me, but I just told him that it was going to be okay, that they would find his big brother, and that he would be alright. I prayed for his safety, for his well-being, that he wasn't scared, that if he heard someone yelling he would yell back... for everything. I even broke down to Levi and begged him, that if close siblings really do have some sort of psychic connection, would he PLEASE tell his brother to come home.

Time seemed to crawl by, but it did pass. People started driving back to the house, and I was getting frustrated; thinking "Don't come back to the house unless he's been found, you all need to be out there, looking for him!" Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful and grateful for every single person who came out that late at night to help search, every person who had us in their prayers, and every person who hoped he would come home safe. I was just a very worried mama.

Next thing I knew I heard someone say "They found him." I jumped up, Levi still in my arms, and ran forward into the front yard, asking if I had heard right; if they had found him. They said yes, and I fell to the ground. Someone came to comfort me, tell me it was alright, and I turned around to see our Propane delivery guy and family friend, Ricky. I didn't realize just how many people had come out to help, and I can't even express just how thankful I truly am. Mike was back at the house, and David was safe. When I first saw him I burst into tears, but when I got up closer and saw just how many scratches he had on him, I cried even harder. He had gone through mesquite trees, briar thorns... he was covered from head to toe in scratches. Nothing too deep, nothing requiring stitches, but it still looked awful. It tore my heart apart, and I felt responsible for each and every scratch he had. It was on my watch that he ran off, and it was my conscience that it would weigh on. But at that moment, all I could think was that he was home; he was safe.

As everyone congratulated my husband on his son's safe return, they started to leave. An ambulance came and the EMTs checked him out, told us he wasn't in any need to rush to the hospital unless we wanted him checked out, but that he would heal well with plenty of children's tylenol, and neosporin. A police officer wrote out a report, we signed a paper for the EMTs, Mike gave David a bath with poison-ivy-oil-remover (just in case), we had a few minutes with our best friends, and then we were alone. Mike's mom and stepdad came over and held David for a while, while Mike told us how he found David.

As he told us, he had looked around and saw that no one was checking the back of the property. Although David had never shown any interest in going back that direction, and it was covered in mesquite trees (with lots of thorns) it was still a direction that needed to be searched. So a guy drove Mike back there in his truck, and every once in a while they would stop and call out for David. Mike thought he heard something in the far far back corner, and they headed over there. He called out for David and heard a sound, muffled, and he couldn't quite tell if it was David or a bobcat or some other wild creature. He called again, thought he heard "daddy" and quickly jumped the fence and rolled, almost like a stunt in an action movie, and found himself along a dry creek bed. He called out for David again, and when he was greeted with silence, he was afraid he might be hearing things; that his imagination was playing tricks on him. He called out again, and heard "Daddy!" and as he shined his light in front of him, there stood David under a tree in a small clearing, just standing there staring at him, completely naked. Apparently he had taken his diaper off at some point. Regardless, he was safe, and that was all that mattered.

This morning, everything seems like it's back to normal. David is fine, though in a bit of pain from all his scratches. Every few hours we clean him up with peroxide and spray him with Bactine, and it soothes the pain. He's just as playful and energetic as ever (though he slept soundly all night long). Levi doesn't seem phased at all, like he knew it would all be okay. Mike and I are doing well, the front door has a new lock on it, much higher up. It's Friday, our friends are over, and we can look back on this and laugh. Well... maybe not laugh quite yet... but at least look back with relief, a newfound respect for door locks, and a better understanding of our children and what they are capable of. We also are now slightly more prepared in the ways of protecting our kids. We can never prepare for everything ahead of time, as my parents reminded me, but as we go through life, we learn. And I'm so glad to move on and put this all behind me. I have never been so scared in my life... and I never want to feel these feelings again.

Once again I just want to say thank you to everyone who came out last night and helped find my baby. Thank you for everyone who was a part of the search team in some way, who had a loved one who was out searching, and everyone who had my son in their thoughts and prayers. I appreciate it more than you know, and I am so grateful to have my son safely back in my arms once again. ♥

Top Ten: Weightloss Milestones

My Mii on Wii Fit Plus with today's measurement. (that's equal to 148 lbs)

I have gone through many weight changes over the years. Between high school, the Navy, and having two kids, my weight has been a roller coaster, and neither my mind nor body are happy with that. I am always saying things like "I am going to change," and "I am starting a new workout program," but very rarely do I have the energy or motivation to stick to it.

Well, this time is different. This time, I have been faithful to my diet and exercise program for 30 full days as of tomorrow! I have much better habits (though I don't have all the good habits I want to have, but hey, baby steps here) and I feel much better about myself.

So in honor of my continuity, I am doing today's Top Ten on the milestones of weightloss that I am aiming for; small goals that I hope to reach throughout the next few months.

1.  Being healthy

I hope to be more physically active, eat smaller portion sizes, eat healthier foods-- including more fruits and raw vegetables-- and maintain a healthy weight. I like to think my Mii is smiling because she feels more healthy already too, and with her back to the screen she's analyzing my charts to make sure I'm staying on top of things! Haha.

2.  Endurance and Performance on Exercise Equipment

I get on my elliptical nearly every day. I set the bar at a minimum of 30 minutes a day, though the resistance and difficulty is up to me when I'm on it. My elliptical has a few preset workouts, ranging from 20-45 minutes, and tackling varying degrees of resistance. I tried one of the 30 minute programs and had to switch to a normal workout halfway through, because it was so physically trying. I want to be able to one day complete an entire 45 minute preset workout without feeling like I'm going to collapse.

3. Endurance and Performance in Real-World Activities

My driveway. It goes from the house, down the pasture, and curves around the lake till finally reaching the gravel road. It's 1/4 mile long, so I have to run down it and back three times to make a mile and a half.

When I was in the Navy, our Physical Fitness Assessment had us doing a minimum amount of push-ups and sit-ups within 2 minutes each, and running a mile and a half in a set period of time. The number of push-ups and sit-ups as well as the time limit for the run was based on gender and age. I could meet the requirements easily, except on the run. These days, I'm not sure if I could meet any of them. I want to be able to run a mile and a half in 12 minutes (that's going to take a while) but I'll be happy if I can at least do it in 20 minutes.

4.  Watching the Numbers Go Down

Most of the time, when you are trying to lose weight, you aren't going to be able to see a major difference in your body for a while, even when other people can already see it. So as a way to convince myself that I am not only losing weight but getting thinner as well, every 2 weeks I measure all the parts of my body that I want to see slim down. So far, I've lost almost 0.25" off every measurement, and a full 0.5" off my hips! I can't wait to watch those numbers continue to go down.


5. Dropping a Jean Size

The Special K Challenge I am somewhat taking boasts that you can lose an inch off your waist in just 2 weeks! Well, I'll be damned if it didn't work. I actually lost almost a full inch off my waist in the first 2-3 weeks. Not that I dropped a jeans size because of it; but I can feel my current pants are much more loose and I CAN actually pull up and zip the next size down.... though uncomfortably and with a very unattractive muffin top. I have a lot of clothes from my "smaller days", clothes that I just couldn't bear to let go of, and I will be happy the day I can fit into at least these 4 items: my old jeans, my black jean shorts, my form-fitting 3/4-sleeve shirt, and my Mossy Oak tee.

6.   Self-Appreciation

My Mii seems a bit chubby in this picture, doesn't she? She takes after me well...

I have never been happy with how I look. Except for in between having my kids, when I was the smallest I have been since the 11th grade. At that point, I was accepting myself, loving my body, loving my life, and proud of my accomplishments in weight loss. I want to reach that state of mind again. I want to be comfortable in my body, and proud of any weight loss I have, regardless of how small the change in weight or how long it takes me to lose it. Anything still counts as something, and it's an accomplishment. I have a feeling I won't truly appreciate or accept myself until I start reaching a few of these weight goals, but I know I can get there again. =)

Most of us who want to lose weight can remember exactly what we weighed at major points in our lives. I'm aiming to pass all of these weights:

7. Reaching 144 lbs

As of this morning, I am sitting at 148 lbs. I'm getting close! I weighed 144 lbs when I got out of the Navy. That was in 2007.

8. Reaching 137 lbs

When I graduated high school, and was about to join the Navy, they weighed me. I was at 137 lbs, which was what they recorded as my entry weight. That was in 2005. (Though if you'll notice, if I can pass 137 and reach 135.9, not only will I have reached my "pre-Navy" weight, but I will also finally cross the threshold from Overweight to NORMAL!!!)

9. Reaching 134 lbs

After I had my first son, before getting pregnant with my second, I got into working out and over 6 months I managed to go from 159 lbs down to 134 lbs. I was at 134 lbs when I got pregnant with my second son. That was in 2010.

10. Reaching 120 lbs

My major workout tool, the one that has encouraged me, recorded my efforts, and made workouts fun, is the Wii Fit Plus. Now, I'm a gamer girl, and when I get sucked into a game, I make it my life goal to defeat it. The Wii Fit Plus seems to taunt me-- laugh at me even-- because it's not a game I can just sit down with for 36 hours and be 90% through it. No, this one requires attention to real life, eating healthy, physical activity, and motivation to regain my self control and overall sense of self. According to the Wii Fit Plus, a healthy weight for me is 119.5 lbs. That is my "ideal" weight. I promise you Wii Fit, with the Internet as my witness, I WILL beat you in 2013. That is the year you are going DOWNNNNN!!!

Come on Guests, Don't Regress (A Recap on Rules)

As some of you may recall, I wrote a post in May of last year describing the Top Ten house rules I had for guests. You can find that post here if you would like to read it, and this post will offer a quick recap of those rules as well.

It has been over a year, and the same three friends still come out every weekend and frequently throughout the week. Those Top Ten rules have not changed. It seemed as if everyone was finally learning to pick up after themselves... I had less to clean each Monday morning: fewer bottle caps found in corners of the rooms, less bottles (empty or full) left out on side tables, less trash around the house, almost no cigarette butts outside, and much less to complain about.

I don't know what has changed. It's almost as if everyone thinks that since I'm happy, they can start slacking up. I've found more to clean lately, messes that are neither mine nor my husband's (and certainly not my children's!) and I am beginning to get irritated again. I even found two bottle caps between the cushions of my couch! That is just pushing me too far.

So, here's a quick refresher course on my house rules. Remember them well.

1. Pick up your cans, bottles, bottle caps, can tabs, bottle tops, and cups. If it's trash, throw it away. If it's reuseable, put it in the sink. I don't want to see a single one left out, with the exception of whatever you are holding in your hand at that point in time.
2. If you stay the night, make the bed. Fold the blankets. Put pillows back. When I wake up, I don't want to see any sign that you had slept over at all.
3. If you're shooting guns, any weapon not currently in your hand or within your immediate reach should be unloaded and stored in the gun cabinet. ALL ammo is to be locked in the ammo box or put in your trucks. I need not explain the importance of this one... you love my kids almost as much as I do, and I know you want to keep their environment safe.
4. All smoking is done outdoors. ANY AND ALL CIGARETTE FILTERS ARE TO BE PUT IN THE METAL BUCKET I KEEP ON THE FRONT PORCH. I can not emphasize enough just how sick I am of getting on my hands and knees combing through the yard to ensure I got them all. I don't care where you are standing when your cigarette is done, or how far you are from the porch. If you aren't going to walk to the bucket to throw it away, then you can just eat the damn thing, or not smoke at all. And if you see one on the ground, whether it is yours or not, pick it up and toss it in the bucket. Because if I find one more, THERE WILL BE NO MORE SMOKING ON MY PROPERTY. PERIOD.
5. Keep the volume down at night. I have a hard enough time getting the kids to sleep, let's not wake them back up, okay?
6. Trash, dishes, tools, games, construction parts, pipes, chemicals, I don't care what it is, just pick up after yourselves! Either that, or I expect you to pay me $50/week as a cleaning fee. You can decide which you'd prefer.
7. Make sure that I know if you're coming out, and how long you're staying. My husband isn't the one who has to cook and clean and play hostess-- I am. So if you're going to be hungry later, and you'll be here during the time I'll be serving dinner, I better have known that before I began cooking.
8. If something you want is the last of it's kind, ask before taking it. It's just considerate.
9. Take. Empty. Boxes. Out. Of. The. Fridge. I am so sick of saying it, and I had to do this again myself just the other day. If you take the last can/bottle from a box, remove the box!
10. I have been very patient with you guys, and have tried talking to you nicely and reminding you to do your part. But I'm getting tired of being nice. If I have to yell at you for your blatant disregard towards any of the above rules, don't get mad at me for it. Because I've told you endless times to clean up after yourselves.

No more excuses people. This is the millionth time I've asked for the simple courtesy that any guest ought to show their host, and the second time now that I've had to write it down in a blog post for you. I swear if I have to remind you guys again, I will start limiting--or banning altogether-- alcohol consumption or smoking priveledges on this property. No one will eat without bringing their own food, nor will they drink without bringing their own beverages. I will begin charging a "couch rental fee" for anyone who decides to sleep over, and everyone will tote around their own personal trash can to keep from littering INSIDE my house.


I am not your wife. I am not your mother. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your maid. Until I see flowers every week, or start getting a paycheck, you can grow up and start taking responsibility for your actions. Clean up after yourself like your parents taught you. Treat my home the way you would treat your mother's. With love and care, and a healthy respect and fear for my wrath should you leave my house in disarray. AGAIN.

 

Top Ten: A Few Honest Words

It's easy to get caught up in how we're "supposed" to live. How we're "supposed" to act. What we're "supposed" to say, think, do-- what society proclaims is right and proper and accepted in the world. Well I'm not afraid to step out with A Few Honest Words and say what I REALLY say, think, and do. It's my life and I'm not ashamed of how I live it. So what if I do things my way? Accept it or don't, I don't care. =)


In honor of this new segment to my blog, "A Few Honest Words", I'm going to kickstart the honesty with a Top Ten!

1. Dishes that have caked-on food and need to be scrubbed get tossed in a sink full of hot water and left there until I feel like getting back to them; my excuse is always "They need to soak first." Sometimes they can be left like that for a day or two.
2. When I first started my workout program, I would check off "daily fruit" and "daily water" before I actually had them, so by the end of the day if I missed one, I still felt like I was on the right track. I never corrected the ones I missed.
3. When my kids get sent to their room together for doing something wrong, and I'm trying to get cleaning or cooking done, I put on a movie for them to keep them occupied, so I don't have to hear them crying and screaming at me while I'm trying to work.
4. I have been blogging since May 27, 2010. As often as I say that my hubby supports me in all that I do, I don't think he has ever read a single one of my posts. Last night I finally stepped up and told him it upsets me.
5. I'm on antidepressants. I'm supposed to take one in the morning and one in the evening. At least three times a week, I forget to take the one in the evening.
6. When I'm alone and in a bad mood, I sometimes imagine certain people being in the room so I can yell at them for all the things they do that make me mad. I have no idea what someone will say if they ever catch me while I'm doing this.
7. At least 75% of my time on Facebook is spent on my own Wall. Very rarely do I ever actually go to someone else's Wall, and only once or twice a day do I look at what's in my News Feed.
8. If I'm sweeping the house and I KNOW that I've accidentally swept something under the couch, I'll leave it there until the one time a week I move the couches. Even if that's not for another 6 days.
9. I wear the same pair of jeans or shorts twice in a row if I didn't step outside the house the day before.
10. As easy as laundry is to do, I hate folding and hanging. Sometimes a laundry basket of clean clothes can sit in my room for a week before I force myself to put it away. And only then because there are no more bras or jeans in my dresser.

Got anything you'd like to 'fess up to this week?

Potty Training Adventures!

Potty training. It's a huge milestone that all parents go through when raising their children. My kids are three years old and sixteen months old, and they are both interested in the little potty we keep in the bathroom. I'm excited for this step, because anyone who has children can tell you just how much money they spend in diapers and wipes each month. But just because "using the potty" seems to be fun and interesting, does not mean this journey is all smooth sailing.

Not every kid is "ready" at the same time. Sometimes they aren't ready until they are nearly four or five years old; sometimes they are ready as early as a year and a half old, maybe even sooner than that. When a child chooses to be ready is not a reflection of their intelligence, so don't worry if your kids decide to wait a while before they really want to learn.

Now, maybe I'm going into this unprepared, or maybe I don't want to try to do this anyone else's way and just want to figure it out for myself, but I have not read a single book, magazine, or article about potty training. I haven't done my typical "I want to learn this" Google search, and I haven't asked anyone how they did it. I want to take this journey with my kids and do it our way, however that may be. We're coming along nicely so far, David using his potty nearly 75% of the time, and Levi still showing interest in it despite not really knowing what to do with it. My children have rewarded me with lots of fun stories about this adventure we're on, some of which I'd like to share with you today.

• We bought the training potty when David was 2 1/2 years old, right when he started showing signs of interest towards what goes on in the bathroom. He was trying to look into the toilet whenever someone was using it, and fascinated by the roll of toilet paper on the wall. Once we had the potty, he would sit on it whenever someone else was going to the bathroom, but only rarely did he actually pee in it. When he did, he would be cheered and commended and rewarded, and hugged and kissed and high-fived. Which he loves.

• Levi doesn't actually know how to use the potty yet, but boy! is he interested in it. He likes to go into the bathroom and sit on the potty, though he doesn't take his diaper off. The few times I've taken his diaper off for him and set him on the potty, he gets this look on his face that seems to say "oh, um, I wasn't really interested in taking it this far just yet, wow this is awkward... sorry mom..." It's okay though. He'll get there.

• We started David in pull-ups last year, and I'm glad we did. When he has to go potty, it's much easier for him to take off on his own so there's no delay in him being able to go. However, I definitely don't recommend using plain old pull-ups at night, because if he poops in it, well, let's just say it's not my favorite thing to change.

• David is so excited to make sure we know that he's going potty. Every single time he has to go, he will take off his pull-up, then find someone and tell them "going pee" or "got poop" a million times until they acknowledge it. It's cute at first, but it does get old fast.

• The first time he pooped in his potty, I'm not sure WHAT he was trying to do afterwards. All I know is that he walks out of the bathroom with poop on his butt, legs, hands, arms, and a bit in his hair. I rush him to the bathroom where I then find it covering the floor, training potty, actual toilet, the side of the tub, and a bit on the wall. It seemed as if he had been using it as finger paint. Not. Fun. At. ALL. Glad he tried though I suppose. If I had to find the silver lining of that situation...

• He recently began actually pooping in his potty a lot more. He's VERY proud of that. Every time he does, even the smallest nugget of anything solid, he takes the bowl out of the training potty and parades it around the house, showing anyone around that he did poop.

• He even knows how to wipe himself after he poops! He gets the pack of wipes I keep in the bathroom and wipes himself. Of course, he's not an expert at it just yet, so I help him finish up. I try to start just a few swipes before he does, so he gets less on his hands (he doesn't get it on his hands often but it's not fun cleaning when he does).

• Once, he came out into the living room to tell me he did poop. He had a wipe with him, and told me he was wiping. I told him I was proud of him, he should do that in the bathroom, and make sure he gets all the poop! I was about to get up and follow him to help, when he starts trying to wipe (standing up straight) but he couldn't get the wipe between his little cheeks, so he grunted, saying "it's stuck!" I laughed so hard that he thought it was a joke and did it repeatedly for nearly 5 minutes.

• As I pointed out a while ago, David also knows how to take the bowl from his training potty, which he does every time he goes, to empty it into the big potty. Very nice, less clean up for mommy... sometimes. Not a fun clean up when he misses.

• The biggest horror story of all (even worse to me than the poop-painting fiasco) is one in which I was a bit more personally involved. As a loving mother, and an honest blogger, I'm not ashamed to share this bit with you today. Embarrassing or not, every parent has a story that shows utter devotion to their children. As my best friend said when telling me her own embarrassing story, "After this, no one can say I don't love my kids." David was playing outside one day, when he comes in holding up his index finger. He comes over to me, shoving it in my face, and muttering something that sounded like "boo boo". He was using his own little language (as he often does when speaking fast or excitedly) so all I could make of it was that he hurt his finger, had a boo boo, and needed me to kiss it so my awesome mommy-healing-power could make it all better. I kissed it... and felt something transfer from his fingertip to my lips. I took a closer look at his finger and saw that it had something brown on it, and carefully, being sure not to get any in my mouth, asked him what it was. "Mommy... poop!" I can't tell you how fast I ran to the kitchen to wash my mouth off, trying to breath through my nose, stay conscious of my tongue at all times, and keep my lips puckered out. I scrubbed it off with soap and hot water, and only then realized he still had it on his finger! As I washed him up, I finally admitted to myself what just happened. I just kissed my son's poop. I'll tell ya what, I really do love my kids.

"Hush, Little Baby" Examined

I'm sure we've all heard the popular lullaby "Hush, Little Baby". It's a catchy little song with a simple verse that is very easy to mimic using your own words. It got stuck in my head the other day and I couldn't help but begin to analyze it. So many things seem wrong with that lullaby, that I just have to ask if anyone else thinks the way I do.

There are several variations to choose from, I chose to start with what Wikipedia refers to as the most common lyrics, though I also list a few others they have.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass.
And if that looking glass gets broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat,
And if that billy goat doesn't pull, Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull.
And if that cart and bull turn over, Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.
And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart.
And if that horse and cart fall down, Well you'll still be the sweetest baby in town.

Another variation, after diamond ring, says:

And if that diamond ring don't shine, Mama's gonna buy you a bottle of wine.
And if that bottle of wine gets broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.
And if that billy goat runs away, Mama's gonna buy you a Chevrolet.
And if that Chevrolet breaks down, Mama's gonna buy you the prettiest gown.
And if that pretty gown gets torn, You'll still be the prettiest in the world.

Of course, that one seems to only apply to girls. One last variation they list includes the line:

And if that diamond ring don't shine, Mama's gonna buy you a silver mine.
And if that silver mine goes broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat.

Okay. Time to fix this. First of all, I have to note that I do like the way it's so simple, that you can add in just about anything of your own, and it has the potential to go on forever. Lullabies with words that are too short can be sung all the way through before the children are even asleep, and you have to come up with another song to sing them. That's why I prefer the ones without words, you can just keep looping it around over and over.

Now, let's get down to it. For starters, if you are trying to get your child to calm down and be quiet, don't try to bribe them. That's a good way to spoil your kids. However, if you insist on bribing them, don't then tell them ways that the bribery might fail (birds not singing, mirrors breaking, etc.). You might say something like, "Oh, you don't want that? How about this instead?" And if these items do happen to break or do not work as they should, why does that mean you should get them more expensive gifts? Can't you just trade in the defective one for one that works?

Now, for the lyrics themselves. I went with the different verses of all three variations listed at Wikipedia. I'm sure there are plenty more out there, but this was more than enough for me to pick apart. =P

If you are going to buy your child a Mocking bird, be prepared to care for it yourself. Babies just are not ready for pets. And why a Mocking bird?! Have you ever been around Mocking birds? They can be vicious! I watched a pair of them attack my friend's dog once. And if it doesn't sing, I would assume that means it's not happy in it's current environment and maybe you should let it go back to the wild where it belongs!

A diamond ring? Really? For a baby?! That is a clear choking hazard. And insanely dangerous to swallow anyways, it could cut up your child's throat! It's ridiculously expensive for a child that doesn't even know what a diamond is, that would be happy with a shiny plastic ball of appropriate size so as not to be swallowed... Which by the way, if that expensive infant death instrument doesn't shine, just get it cleaned. If it turns brass, well then it's just not a diamond and you were gypped. Which you would deserve if you bought a diamond ring for your baby.

A looking glass. Okay, that's not too bad. Mirrors are shiny, a lot of kids love looking at their reflection, and you can get fake plastic ones. But if the one you got broke then obviously you were an idiot and got them a real one. Glass. For a child. I'm starting to question your parenting skills-- or lack thereof.

After living in the country, I can understand buying certain farm animals "for" your kids. Or rather, you were buying them anyways and you told your child that it was for them to make them feel special. So you bought your child a billy goat. That's cute. Just don't let them play with it till they're much older (for you, let's say around 8 years old), because billies can be rough if they aren't worked with a lot, and some are just tempermental. If it doesn't pull, then don't use it for that. If it runs away, you should have made sure your fence was built better and kept an eye on it.

Okay, doubling up on this one. Cart and bull?! Horse and cart?! What-- I mean, seriously-- *sigh*. Whatever. Good luck finding them, and if you do, I sincerely hope your child wasn't in the cart when it turned over or fell down.

I actually have no complaints about you buying your child a dog. Name it what you want, maybe I wouldn't have gone with "Rover", but it's cute, and dogs can be great companions to children. I myself bought my kids a puppy for Christmas last year. But if the dog doesn't bark, why would you get rid of it?! You ARE trying to get your child to "hush", right? If you want your child to go to sleep, or at the very least be quiet, then why would a dog that DOESN'T bark be a bad thing? Take your time thinking about that one. I'm sure you'll get it eventually.

You're going to buy your child a bottle of wine? I've heard of parents in the old days putting a little bit of whiskey or some other strong liquor in their child's bottle (not straight alcohol of course) to help put the child to sleep. And I've heard people tell me it works. I'm not going to try it, but I'm sure different parenting styles apply in this instance, and it might be something to ask the pediatrician about (though I can't imagine a doctor telling you to give your infant alcohol at all). But that doesn't mean it's okay to buy them a bottle of wine! Next thing you know you're picking up a case of beer for yourself and one for your 6 month old, then your child is getting their liver replaced before they are even a teenager! Great job. If the bottle of wine gets broke, that's probably a good thing. Hopefully it broke before you gave it to your baby. Clean it up, and go get them some milk or a juicebox.

Getting your child a vehicle is something most parents can only dream they would be able to do, and a lot of the ones who can afford it have to scrape and save for quite a while to be able to get even just a cheap used vehicle on Craigslist that probably needs some work. Getting it for your child when they are still 16 years away from driving? Maybe not the best idea. You should have saved that money, maybe put it in a savings account to build up interest, and 16 years from now you can surprise them with a much better (and much more current) vehicle! Or a cheap (working) vehicle, and some left over money for college! Oh, and I'm not too surprised that the Chevy broke down. Should have gotten a Toyota. ;)

Once again I have no complaints about buying your child some clothes, maybe don't buy "the prettiest gown" for your baby boy, but clothes are sweet all the same. Never really seen a baby excited about clothes though... unless it's the middle of winter and you are carrying your baby around in just a diaper. Then I'm sure clothes really would calm them down, because they would be warmer. Which again would lead me to question your ability to be a parent... but all the same, new clothes are cute even if it doesn't exactly calm your kid down.

A silver mine... Okay not too many people in the world can say they own a silver mine. And the ones who can, I would assume will also say it's worthless and that there is no silver down there. These days major corporations own those kinds of things, except for maybe a few very small ones that won't amount to much. If you can spend enough money to buy a silver mine, I would hope you looked into it before hand and that it isn't a bad investment. Judging by the other things you've chosen to buy your kid, you didn't think it through at all. Which means there's no real surprise that it went broke. The real surprise is that you still had enough money to buy a billy goat after that. I'm no longer surprised that you would buy something like this for your child, but I would rather you buy them a silver mine than a diamond ring, because as long as you don't let your kid wander into the mine, then the mine can't kill them. Not that I'm promising you anything there, because you aren't the best role model thus far.

Well, I'm done. I think I'll just stick to a nice wordless lullaby that I can hum to my kids, without promising them all these insane things just to hush down. The only thing I will promise them is that everything is okay, and that I love them.


These lyrics were obtained from Wikipedia, "Hush, Little Baby" @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush,_Little_Baby

Look to the Sky

There are times in our lives when we're feeling down. When nothing is beautiful anymore, and we just don't think there's a reason to get up in the morning. Nature itself is proving us wrong. Teaching us to just hold on, look for the beauty in everything, and if all else fails, just look to the sky for guidance and wisdom. And here it is.

The sun rises and sets every morning without complaining. Even when it is blocked by clouds or fog, it still rises all the same. It never begs to sleep in, or tries to go down faster (although some days tend to fly by fast enough that it feels as if it truly has). When it does rise, it offers us one of the most beautiful scenes we will ever witness-- the lightening of the sky, the changing colors, the perfectly spherical sun in the deepest shades of red and orange, the yellow or pink hue that the world takes on briefly, coloring our surroundings in a new spectrum... We get to see everything in a different light (literally) and watching the darkness recede, it's like seeing the world for the first time. Shapes and colors coming into view, getting clearer by the minute. The horizon is a picture more beautiful than any painting can capture. If that isn't beauty, then I don't know what is.

During the day, the clouds are always putting on a show, dancing across the sky while twisting and turning themselves into all sorts of shapes and designs. You can get so much inspiration from them. For painting, for writing, for drawing, even for redecorating your house! True story. ;)

On bad weather days, don't let the grey skies and pouring rain get you down. Remember that the only reason it's raining is to make things grow, to wash out the old and the bad energy, and to revitalize our Earth. Let the cooling rain wash over you. Or, just wait it out. After every storm, if you look for it, however barely visible or clearly obvious it may be, there is always a rainbow to brighten your day. Rainbows... oh, rainbows. So many colors... I know in school they teach you that a rainbow only has six colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Well, take a closer look at that rainbow you see in the sky. There are colors in-between colors, shades and hues that don't even have names yet! Crayola does a fair job of putting a name to every color, but come on. Nature has no limit! Imagine all the colors that we can't even see with our eyes! A rainbow is nature's way of telling us that there are NO LIMITS on what you can do. Even things you can't even imagine yet. =)

 At the end of the day, as the sun nears the horizon once more-- this time leaving us until the dawn arrives again-- do not be overcome by the idea of darkness. The sun even leaves us with beauty. The colors in the sky don't just "fade away" but instead fade INTO the darkness, turning to shades of a foggy slate (on those brighter evenings when even the sunset doesn't strip the sky of light) or slowly changing into a deep sapphire, sparkling with stars.






The sunset is arguably the most beautiful scene on the planet. It seems to say, "endings are not forever, and they do not have to be sad or lonely." You just have to find the beauty in it, and know that even though the sun is setting, it will rise again. The colors are perhaps to remind us of the beauty we will find again when we wake. If the sunset was the last thing I ever saw in my life, I don't think I would be disappointed.


 

Even in darkness, there is still light. After sunset, the stars come out to play, doing their own dance across the night sky. Some people even seek out the darkest places in their area just for the chance to see more stars at once. They stand as symbols of guidance to wanderers and seafarers, gifts of gods and goddesses in ancient times, and a blanket of wonderment to any who will glance their way. They join up to form constellations, tell stories, and invoke our imaginations to the most wild fantasies we have. Imagine how far away they are, what life forms exist closer to them, if any of those stars are suns in their own galaxies... so many questions we'd like to ask those stars, if only they could answer.

And the brightest symbol of the night, whether waxing or waning or full, is our beautiful moon. Watching the moon throughout each month-- changing, getting bigger, then smaller again, and always coming full circle-- is just another way of nature teaching us about the Circle of Life. If your fortune in life seems to be diminishing, don't worry. At your lowest point, you will find new strength, new meaning, new motivation... Stay vigilant, and in time you will be whole once more.

Nature gives us so much to think about, and so much wisdom. When all else fails, just remember to look to the sky.



*About the pictures*
I took all of these pictures myself, all with the camera on my phone. They are taken right here on my property. The sunrise from my bedroom window, the rainbow and moon from my front pasture, and all of the sunsets from the tailgate of my truck. Little fun fact: that moon picture is of the blue moon, on 8/31/12.

A Brief Look Back

It's after midnight, and I found myself re-reading some of my old blog posts.

I was SO on track physically back in 2010. Of course, then I got pregnant with my second son, which is why I was 14 lbs away from my overall weight goal. I feel good knowing I'm back on track once more. It has been 12 days since I began my exercising, and 3 days since I began my dieting. I was 155 lbs when I started it all, and today I was at 150 lbs. My waist is already an inch smaller than it was last time I measured it, too. I get full faster, and I have more energy. Nice to see I'm actually going to achieve my goals this time. I hate when I keep saying "oh I'm going to do it this time for sure!" and never actually stick to it.

I was so addicted to World of Warcraft, just earlier this year. Before my medication, that game was my world-- my life. I looked forward to playing it, not just as entertainment but also as a way to feel like I've achieved something each day. A few minutes ago I was watching my husband log onto his account just to see how things have changed with the new expansion pack, and it felt like I was looking at a strange new game that I had never seen before. I didn't recognize any of the other players online, I knew that I was no longer the "WoW Expert" I once was, and I felt detached from it altogether. It's like in the movie The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. (Spoiler Alert in this metaphor!) At the end of the movie, Aslan (the lion) tells the kids that they have outgrown Narnia and, sadly, will never return. I feel very much like that is what happened to me. Like WoW was some mystical place I could run away to, where I was a queen and I was important and respected and looked up to. But I've outgrown it, and I will never go back. It's sad, looking back and remembering all the things I was in the middle of when I quit... but I just don't feel connected to it anymore, and I have a real life now. Magical fairy tale lands are wonderful to dream about and visit while reading a good book series, but you just can't live in them forever.

Well, I just wanted to talk about how I was feeling about all this, having re-read my old posts and seen WoW again after so long. Looking forward to the next few months, losing more weight, gaining more energy, and working more on my real life.

Off to bed now. Good night. ♥

Special K CHALLENGE! Well, Kinda.

I have never been one to jump on a diet program. As a matter of fact, I hate the idea of a diet; restricting what I can and can't eat? Just typing it makes me sad at the thought of all the delicious food I wouldn't be able to eat if I were on a diet. But lately...

I have been successfully working out for over a week. My workouts mostly consist of varying degrees of resistance and lengths of distance on my elliptical, between walking and jogging, for an average of half an hour a day. Occasionally I toss in a few sets of crunches or sit-ups. I have also begun drinking at least one bottle of water a day, and trying to remember to eat a piece of fruit each day.

When I started this on August 21-- 10 days ago-- I weighed 155 lbs, and the last time I had measured my waist, it was at 36". I missed 4 days of fruit and one day of working out. Today, I weigh in at 151 lbs and my waist (as of yesterday) is at 35.5"! That seems amazing to me, since I haven't changed anything else about my normal eating habits. I'm still drinking sodas and tea and the occasional beer on the weekends, I'm still eating huge meals for dinner, I still eat fast food if I want it... And yet with a little exercise, water, and fruit, I'm already losing weight and inches off my waist.

Well, it's about to get better. I have so much more energy lately and the weight I've already lost is such motivation, that I've decided to go ahead and attempt the Special K CHALLENGE*! Of course, it's not going to be EXACTLY the challenge they suggest; I am instead tailoring their suggestions with a bit of other suggestions, and fitting it all into my current lifestyle.

I signed up on the Special K website and put in my current information. Date of birth, height, current weight. I selected the program I'm going for (a weight goal) and checked off the way I eat and some of the things I do on the survey they offer to help personalize your diet. Now, my overall goal is to be 120 lbs by New Years', which would mean a weight loss goal of 31 lbs. They don't like when you say you want to lose 10% of your body weight, so they suggest me starting with a smaller goal, reaching it, and updating my profile for the remainder of the weight I would like to lose. So I started with 15 lbs as my weight loss goal, and the site tells me that by following their plan, I can lose that within 52 days. Less than 2 months! I think that's a good start.

The basis of the Special K diet is to eat three meals and two snacks a day, and to replace two of your meals with Special K products. They suggest Special K cereal with fruit for breakfast; a fruit, cracker, or yogurt snack; a Special K protein meal bar or protein shake for lunch; a Special K protein snack bar; then eat your third meal the way you normally would. You can change it up and eat what you want for breakfast or lunch, as long as you are still eating their name brand cereal, meal bars, snack bars, and shakes. I'm not going to follow the exact meals they suggest for me, because when it comes to that "third meal", it's going to be what I want to eat. I'm using this challenge as a guideline more than an actual strict diet.

I have also been borrowing suggestions from other sources as well, such as the popular TV series, The Doctors. They suggest eating foods that are high in fiber and protein, staying away from "bloating" foods like pastas (not easy to do when you're Italian), and eating plenty of fresh fruits and veggies. What a coincidence, all of the meal and snack bars and shakes from Special K are rich in fiber and protein! And those fruits that I've decided to eat every day? I bought plums, peaches, apples, and oranges. I know my kids love all of these fruits as well, so they eat a bit more healthy too! Another source, an article from NewsMax, suggests the 5 Best Fruits for Losing Weight. This article tells me that plums are high-carb, and great with breakfast. They will help give me energy in the morning to kick-start my day. Peaches and apples are low-carb fruits, which are great sources of water, that help control body temperature and help expel bad cholesterol. And oranges are a citrus fruit, a great way to cleanse the blood, promote cardiovascular and heart health, and improve digestion. All great for weight loss!

So with my Special K CHALLENGE base line, frequent fruit, lots of water, and working out, I'm actually expecting to lose the weight a little bit faster than my plan suggests. However, I will be perfectly content with any and all weight loss that may occur.  =)

I just ate my first protein meal bar for lunch. It's actually pretty good. I wasn't eating much of a lunch before this anyways, so at least now I'll be getting fiber and protein every day. I'm about to go hop on my elliptical for my daily workout. Looking forward to seeing if I reach my goals! Wish me luck!  ;)


*On a side note, the Special K CHALLENGE itself is a program that says you can lose 1 inch off your waist in two weeks! The weight loss goal plan I chose to follow on their website is a bit different from the challenge itself, because mine is working toward a specific goal over a longer time period, rather than just "what can I lose in two weeks?" If you visit the Special K website you can choose your own goal, or take the CHALLENGE! Remember though, all weight loss projections are on average, so your results may differ as well.