Another year is about to pass. It's usually around this time that I start thinking about a resolution.
Most New Year's resolutions are either impractical, or reach too high to ever succeed. I always look to set a goal that will benefit me in more ways than one, and often times goals that will benefit others. This year, I will be selfish... I strive to make myself a better person. I want to use the knowledge of my past to put life lessons into practice. I want to make drastic changes that are gradual enough to achieve. I want those I care about--and who care about me--to know that I have heard them; that their advice and compliments and deep conversations were not lost on me.
To achieve these ends I shall declare three resolutions in lieu of one. One goal for my body physically, to become healthier and more active. One goal for my heart emotionally, to regain precious self esteem and confidence. One goal for my mind spiritually, to expand my knowledge and fill a void.
1. Physically. My goal here is in two parts... to drink a glass of water every day, and to perform some measure of exercise each day. This can be for 5 minutes or an hour, however much I feel like that day. Every small bit is a step more than I otherwise would have taken, which benefits me in the end. Naturally, I hope to lose weight and fit back into a smaller size, but the goal is health, and any weight loss is just a bonus.
2. Emotionally. At least once a week, I will look into a mirror and remember what has been told to me over the years--the compliments and arguements for my self worth. Each time I do this, I will write one down and reflect on it, and try to see what they see. Then I will link them together and hang them somewhere I can see them every day. I need to learn to look past the flaws they never saw, through the scars they couldn't see, and accept myself for who I am... love myself for who I am.
There are a few specific people throughout my life who have inspired this goal, whose love fought against my strong-willed doubt. I dont want that to have been in vain. Two of these people I have lost this year; the boy who gave me the world, and the man who made me feel like I was the only person in his world. They showed me I am special, and I am beautiful, and I am not worthless. That I was thought of every day, that someone can get lost in my smile (and tell the difference in my smiles), that talking to me can make someone's day better, and even that in their eyes, hey, One Direction wrote a song about me.
My hubby has been trying to get me to see these things for years. After this long, its about time I give myself a real chance to accept these things.
3. Spiritually. Throughout the year, I want to study Wicca and complete my study of the Major Arcana in my Tarot deck. I have never allowed myself to connect to anything or anyone on a spiritual level, but I have noticed that when I study my cards, I feel calm and hopeful. Spirituality is an area in my mind that I have avoided, but I'm reaching the age where I no longer care what people think about my choice of Faith, and I will walk any path along which I am comfortable. Wicca is the closest to my personal beliefs, and I am interested in furthering my understanding of Wiccan ways.
If I can follow these three goals throughout the year, my hope is that I will be healthier, I will accept myself, and I will have something to help guide me. Only one of these will change my daily habits--and that is the exercise. Granted, the water is daily as well, but getting a drink each day is already habit... I simply must make the choice to drink water. Even if I fall behind a bit, as long as I do my best, I will still be on the right path. ♥
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Kid Karma: TV and Imaginary Bridges
Well, it's happening again. My kids are paying me back for my childhood.
Today, as I'm sitting in my chair crocheting, I have passed the Wii remote to my four year old so he can have control of Netflix for a while. The boys have their own profile, set up for kids, so I dont have to worry about them watching any adult shows. Unfortunately, it doesnt filter out the shows with no educational value whatsoever.
I'm reminded of my own childhood, every time my parents told me to turn off some stupid show, or made fun of what I was watching, or just flat out disapproved. As my son jumps up and down on the couch cheering for "Codename: Kids Next Door"--a show I used to watch as a kid--I realize just how bad of an influence the show is. They encourage kids to ignore and disrespect adults, throw things at them, refuse vegetables, live off candy and sodas, and disregard all responsibility or thought for their future. It really makes me miss Tad's annoying voice on Leapfrog shows. At least those are actually educational.
I really would love to take a moment to throw this out there... Leapfrog movies and games are AMAZING. Thanks to the Leapfrog movies, my kids (ages 2 and 4) both know their alphabet, the sounds each letter makes, which letters are vowels, their numbers up to 20, and their shapes. I highly recommend Leapfrog to anyone, the movies arent very long and they can hold kids' attention spans longer than most shows. My kids are ready for school, and my oldest still has half a year before he starts.
The past week, Kid Karma has been kicking me in the lower back, too. That is, my back hurts from constantly bending over to clean up and refold my husband's work pants. My kids seem to think my bedroom floor shouldnt be stepped on, and the only way to get around in the room is to build a bridge. Every time I ask my oldest why the pants are all over the floor, the answer is the same... "we built a bridge mommy."
They are driving me crazy, and I'm sick of picking up the same pairs of pants every day, if not two to three times a day. But the imaginary apple doesnt fall far from the tree... when I was a kid, I used to line my mom's books and VHS tapes along the floor to avoid falling in the lava (i.e. stepping on the carpet). I used to get into so much trouble for that... but I still never listened. So I know what is going through my kids' heads, and no amount of punishment is stopping them. I just have to keep trying, and wait till they grow out of it.
Mom, dad, I am SO sorry for every idiotic useless show I watched that did nothing but rot my brain. I am sooooo sorry for every time I walked across your books and movies. Part of me wants to be defensive and say that it's your fault you had a lava floor... haha, but I know I should have used something less breakable. Like pillows.
Karma always comes back around, kids... next time you dont listen to your parents, just you wait! Your kids will show you how it feels soon enough.
Today, as I'm sitting in my chair crocheting, I have passed the Wii remote to my four year old so he can have control of Netflix for a while. The boys have their own profile, set up for kids, so I dont have to worry about them watching any adult shows. Unfortunately, it doesnt filter out the shows with no educational value whatsoever.
I'm reminded of my own childhood, every time my parents told me to turn off some stupid show, or made fun of what I was watching, or just flat out disapproved. As my son jumps up and down on the couch cheering for "Codename: Kids Next Door"--a show I used to watch as a kid--I realize just how bad of an influence the show is. They encourage kids to ignore and disrespect adults, throw things at them, refuse vegetables, live off candy and sodas, and disregard all responsibility or thought for their future. It really makes me miss Tad's annoying voice on Leapfrog shows. At least those are actually educational.
I really would love to take a moment to throw this out there... Leapfrog movies and games are AMAZING. Thanks to the Leapfrog movies, my kids (ages 2 and 4) both know their alphabet, the sounds each letter makes, which letters are vowels, their numbers up to 20, and their shapes. I highly recommend Leapfrog to anyone, the movies arent very long and they can hold kids' attention spans longer than most shows. My kids are ready for school, and my oldest still has half a year before he starts.
The past week, Kid Karma has been kicking me in the lower back, too. That is, my back hurts from constantly bending over to clean up and refold my husband's work pants. My kids seem to think my bedroom floor shouldnt be stepped on, and the only way to get around in the room is to build a bridge. Every time I ask my oldest why the pants are all over the floor, the answer is the same... "we built a bridge mommy."
They are driving me crazy, and I'm sick of picking up the same pairs of pants every day, if not two to three times a day. But the imaginary apple doesnt fall far from the tree... when I was a kid, I used to line my mom's books and VHS tapes along the floor to avoid falling in the lava (i.e. stepping on the carpet). I used to get into so much trouble for that... but I still never listened. So I know what is going through my kids' heads, and no amount of punishment is stopping them. I just have to keep trying, and wait till they grow out of it.
Mom, dad, I am SO sorry for every idiotic useless show I watched that did nothing but rot my brain. I am sooooo sorry for every time I walked across your books and movies. Part of me wants to be defensive and say that it's your fault you had a lava floor... haha, but I know I should have used something less breakable. Like pillows.
Karma always comes back around, kids... next time you dont listen to your parents, just you wait! Your kids will show you how it feels soon enough.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
My Winter Habits
Every winter, I get into a very confusing state of activity. It's the time of year where I get the urge to be active and the desire to be lazy simultaneously. Lady Winter, she comes... and she's-a comin' in fast! So it's time for me to start figuring out what sort of habits to set into motion.
Our house doesn't have central heating. So on cold winter mornings, I need to get up early (or at least, before the kids are up, and preferably a half an hour before I'm even up, if that were possible! haha) and get a fire started in the woodstove to heat the house. Of course, as much as I'd love to do so, I'd also love to sleep in past noon. I don't have anywhere to be anyways, except maybe once a month.
I have this eating habit, where during the hot months I don't get hungry at all, and during the winter months I'm consistently hungry throughout the day. It's not healthy, and most of the time it's subconscious, and I don't realize I'm doing it.
I think I can safely lay some of the blame for my winter eating on the television; there's not much else to do when it's too cold to go outside, so we tend to group up in the living room (near the wood stove) and surf through Netflix and our overflowing movie shelves.
As much time as you'd think I'd have in winter, I should be getting more writing done in my book. I can never seem to focus enough--especially while chasing down active kids and cleaning the house--and always remind myself that there is no rush. It doesn't change the fact that my book isn't going to write itself, but I know I'll have a little time here and there to pick it up and get a few pages done.
Then I have my games. I love my tablet, and it has a lot of useful apps including internet, camera, calendar, and notepad... but it also has a lot of fun games. Now, I'm not going to list ALL my favorite games, but I will tell you the ones I'm currently obsessed with. They are TeamLava games: Bakery Story, Restaurant Story, and Dragon Story. In the first two you run a bakery and a restaurant, designing them and preparing food for your customers, and in the last one you own a chain of islands and raise and breed dragons. Cute little games for sure (and if anyone picks them up, feel free to add me on any of them, my ID is CrystalHPK).
I also get caught up baking. Running the oven is a great way to heat the kitchen, and with my winter hunger, there are a lot of new recipes I like to play with. This winter might be a good time to type up all the recipes I've added throughout the year and file them into my cookbook (my grandmother made it for me when I got my own kitchen, and I'd like to keep it organized).
Between the cooking and the eating and the oversleeping, it's a good thing that I also get the winter urge to work out! I have an exercise bike and an elliptical, and last winter I used the two of them to work off 30 lbs! It's no secret that over summer (and with the return of my depression) I gained a little weight back. Nothing more than I've weighed before, but enough to be discouraging. So I'm excited to get back into my workouts and get things moving again (and the pants size dropping again!).
I've happily decided to combine some of these things to allow for all of my winter habits. Whenever I am watching TV or playing my tablet games, I will be on a workout machine. It's too easy for me to sit on the couch and get lost in my games for hours at a time, so this way I will be productive during the times when I am being lazy. ;)
Of course, there will be a few things I can't do while I work out, like my Italian lessons or studying my tarot cards. Those require full focus and attention, and preferably a flat stationary surface. But this is a great start, and it's not much of a lifestyle change, so I don't feel like I'm taking on too much at once, and it helps alleviate the guilt I feel at my lack of physical activity. Mainly since there's not going to be a lack anymore. ^_^
Well, those are my plans anyways. What are some of your winter habits? Are there any changes you'd like to make?
Our house doesn't have central heating. So on cold winter mornings, I need to get up early (or at least, before the kids are up, and preferably a half an hour before I'm even up, if that were possible! haha) and get a fire started in the woodstove to heat the house. Of course, as much as I'd love to do so, I'd also love to sleep in past noon. I don't have anywhere to be anyways, except maybe once a month.
I have this eating habit, where during the hot months I don't get hungry at all, and during the winter months I'm consistently hungry throughout the day. It's not healthy, and most of the time it's subconscious, and I don't realize I'm doing it.
I think I can safely lay some of the blame for my winter eating on the television; there's not much else to do when it's too cold to go outside, so we tend to group up in the living room (near the wood stove) and surf through Netflix and our overflowing movie shelves.
As much time as you'd think I'd have in winter, I should be getting more writing done in my book. I can never seem to focus enough--especially while chasing down active kids and cleaning the house--and always remind myself that there is no rush. It doesn't change the fact that my book isn't going to write itself, but I know I'll have a little time here and there to pick it up and get a few pages done.
Then I have my games. I love my tablet, and it has a lot of useful apps including internet, camera, calendar, and notepad... but it also has a lot of fun games. Now, I'm not going to list ALL my favorite games, but I will tell you the ones I'm currently obsessed with. They are TeamLava games: Bakery Story, Restaurant Story, and Dragon Story. In the first two you run a bakery and a restaurant, designing them and preparing food for your customers, and in the last one you own a chain of islands and raise and breed dragons. Cute little games for sure (and if anyone picks them up, feel free to add me on any of them, my ID is CrystalHPK).
I also get caught up baking. Running the oven is a great way to heat the kitchen, and with my winter hunger, there are a lot of new recipes I like to play with. This winter might be a good time to type up all the recipes I've added throughout the year and file them into my cookbook (my grandmother made it for me when I got my own kitchen, and I'd like to keep it organized).
Between the cooking and the eating and the oversleeping, it's a good thing that I also get the winter urge to work out! I have an exercise bike and an elliptical, and last winter I used the two of them to work off 30 lbs! It's no secret that over summer (and with the return of my depression) I gained a little weight back. Nothing more than I've weighed before, but enough to be discouraging. So I'm excited to get back into my workouts and get things moving again (and the pants size dropping again!).
I've happily decided to combine some of these things to allow for all of my winter habits. Whenever I am watching TV or playing my tablet games, I will be on a workout machine. It's too easy for me to sit on the couch and get lost in my games for hours at a time, so this way I will be productive during the times when I am being lazy. ;)
Of course, there will be a few things I can't do while I work out, like my Italian lessons or studying my tarot cards. Those require full focus and attention, and preferably a flat stationary surface. But this is a great start, and it's not much of a lifestyle change, so I don't feel like I'm taking on too much at once, and it helps alleviate the guilt I feel at my lack of physical activity. Mainly since there's not going to be a lack anymore. ^_^
Well, those are my plans anyways. What are some of your winter habits? Are there any changes you'd like to make?
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