Letting Go

I am constantly learning new things about myself and about life itself. Last night, I discovered how to truly let go.

I leaned back, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and when I opened my eyes I just let my mind wander as I focused on how beautiful nature is. I watched the branches of the oak tree sway in the wind, and I watched the leaves dance in the breeze. I smiled at the shapes of the clouds as they drifted across the sky, and imagined what part of life they were imitating. It's fun to think that maybe the clouds wish they were solid objects, and maybe they take the shape of things they float over. Maybe a rabbit hopping through a garden, or a pirate ship braving the high seas? Haha, maybe. I looked out over our front pasture, and the lake. I watched my guineas chase grasshoppers through the weeds. I watched the sunlight sparkle across the ripples the fish made in the water.

I stopped worrying about everything. I didnt worry about our house, or what work needs to be done. I didn't worry about my parent's divorce, or what would happen to the family. I didn't even worry about the small things, like the few chores that didn't get done that day. I just... let it all go. I feel as if I finally accepted the fact that worrying about something does no good at all. It makes you freak out, and want to move faster and get things done, but all that really does is make you paranoid and nothing gets done properly, because you're trying to move too fast. I slowed down.

It's an amazing feeling, to just let go and let life take you where it wants you to go. And lately, life has been bringing me to some pretty amazing places. I'm better able to focus on my family, and I'm happier just being in the same room as they are. I have rediscovered my camera, and I have been taking pictures at every chance I get. I have been noticing more of the subtle looks my son gets on his face when he does things, and I'm beginning to understand him a bit better. I'm absorbing all the positive energy out there, and just soaking in it. I'm rejecting the negative energy, and using it's presence to convert it into more positive energy. I'm being happy just BEING. Does that make sense? I'm pretty sure theres a Taoist lesson in there somewhere.

My point is this: Sometimes you just have to let go. You can worry your life away, when you should be enjoying it. I have felt better, I have connected to my family more deeply, and I have formed more lasting friendships with my closest friends. Thank you, life, for your guidance. I love where you have taken me. I am so glad I have learned to let go.