Trust and Faithfulness

With everything that's been going on this past week and a half, I never stopped to realize that I'm being watched. And why should I have? I have done nothing wrong; in fact, for once in my life I am doing everything right. In this aspect of my life especially.

Since my husband has been gone, I have cleaned the house. I have rearranged. I have been caring for all of the animals. I have been watering the garden. I have been hatching eggs and caring for the chicks. I have even been cleaning the truck that my husband drives, and cleaning up the yard. On top of that, I have my boys to care for. All this work has been a lot for me, especially when the truck broke down the other day (and I am most definitely NOT an auto mechanic). So Mike has asked his friends to come over at times to help me out. And that help has been more and more appreciated as the temperature outside rises and the heat becomes unbearable. But apparently, their help is not appreciated by everyone. So I am writing this post to attempt to explain things to the people who have decided to "watch".

First of all, I don't care what you think, and I don't care how it "looks". You should know better than to jump to conclusions and judge people. Just because a teen is pregnant, doesnt mean she's a slut; she could have been raped. Just because a man is extremely overweight doesnt mean he's a fat lazy pig; he could have a medical disorder. And just because the friends that come over to my house are guys doesnt mean I'm doing anything inappropriate. I'm actually disappointed in you for not having faith in me, and for thinking that I would allow something to happen. Go ahead, call my hubby. And he will tell you the exact same thing.

Yes, the only three friends I have out here are guys. Two of them were my husband's friends first, but over the years they have become my friends as well. What difference does it make whether my friends are guys or girls, whether they come over and hang out outside or inside, whether we hang out at the house or in town, whether they are here during the day or the evening? Yes, my husband is out of town. But did you know that my husband and I text each other all day long? That we talk on the phone every chance we get? That in the evenings we play an online game together so that we can spend time together even though we are miles apart? I bet you thought we did, but you weren't sure. Did you bother to ask? Of course not.

My husband and I trust each other. It helps that we keep each other informed of what we are doing and who we are with. I tell my husband every time someone wants to come over, I tell him when they get here, when they leave, and everything that happened while they were here. Here is an example of a typical day when a friend comes over (I have substituted the friend's name for [my friend] in this example):

"Hey honey, [my friend] would like to come over. He doesnt work tomorrow and he doesnt have anything better to do, so he thought he would come hang out here and keep me company, and he will help me with the chores." At this point my husband can tell me yes or no. If he doesnt want someone over here at that time, then no one will come over. Then "Hey sweetie, [my friend] just got here. Just letting you know." Simple, right? Later on: "Hey thought I'd let you know [my friend] is leaving. We got over half of the yard cleaned and mowed, and he knows what's wrong with the truck."

It's like that every time someone wants to come over. EVERY TIME. My husband is kept well informed, and what he says goes. So if wants them gone, he just tells me and they are gone. No one comes over to this house without his knowledge. Maybe in your house and in your marriage, you would do things differently. Maybe you dont have the trust in your life that I have with my husband. Maybe you have been in this situation, and maybe you made the wrong decisions and are afraid that I will do the same. Maybe you trust me, but you dont trust my friends. Maybe you think that if someone tried to take advantage of me, that I wouldnt be able to stand up for myself and handle the situation (remember I have a fully stocked gun safe in the bedroom). Maybe you feel that having anyone at all over to the house while my husband is gone is disrespectful. Unfortunately, it doesnt matter what you think.

That being said, my husband and I are grown adults; what we do in our relationship is our own business, not yours. If he allows me to have friends visit in his absence, that is his choice. You can offer your advice as freely and as frequently as you like, but ultimately it is up to my husband and I whether or not we choose to follow it. Why it should bother you so much is beyond me. I don't complain to you when you do something I dont approve of. Do you know why? Because I have already accepted the fact that you are a grown adult yourself. It is none of my business what you do or have done, because that is your own personal life. It does not affect me. Just like me and my husband's life is personal and does not affect you. So I would appreciate it if you would mind your own business and let us live our adult lives the way we want to. We trust each other, and we are being completely faithful to each other both physically and emotionally. You should support that and trust us as well.

I have said this in the nicest possible way that I could. I have explained myself where I do not feel I should have needed to explain, and it hurts me that you dont have that trust in me or my husband to make the right decisions. Just know that in the end, what we do IS in fact OUR decision. And quite frankly, I'd say we're doing a damn good job. You can say what you want and try to hurt us, but we are stronger than you or your words. I love my hubby, and he loves me. We have come a long way, and we are faithful and communicative. We trust each other, and we trust the few friends that we have. Nothing else matters. Especially not your indignation or jealousy.