Together By Myself

Well, we're home. I know it's only Saturday, but I couldn't sleep out there again. Maybe we'll go out there tomorrow, too. Just as long as I get to sleep on a nice, soft bed and not the ground. My back kills me after sleeping on the ground.

It was a pretty good time out on the River. The water was a little high, and the current was pretty strong, but all in all it was pretty good. I met my father-in-law's family, and we got along GREAT. I was afraid that after all this time with no human interaction, being stuck in the middle of nowhere, that my social skills would be way out of shape, but we were swapping Navy stories and talking about interests before I knew it. Which is a really good thing considering.

I was SO worried about my scars on my legs, and that turned out not to be a big deal at all. As a matter of fact, not a single comment about them. I was happy with that. My legs are socially acceptable! :) But then I noticed that no one was looking at me at all. And that meant that no one would watch my son, David, for me. I chased people around practically, asking for just a few minutes in the water or a few minutes to take down our tent or something. Just please would anyone in the world watch him long enough for me to PEE?! I didn't get to spend more than 10 minutes with my own husband the entire time we were there. Then there are people who have the audacity to comment on how my son needs to "be around other people more" and "you need to let other people watch him from time to time so he wont be a spoiled momma's boy". That really got me angry. If they want him to be around others so badly, why wont they watch him for a few minutes? I'm not asking them to hold him the whole time; he was playing in the sandbox. It got to the point where no one was listening when I asked them to babysit, even if just for a sec. The only way I got the tent packed up is by making sure he was in a safe spot, and walking away. I noticed when he started crying someone picked him up, then they started looking for me. Hypocrites.

Well, I did eventually get to have about 20 minutes in the water, and about 10 of that was with Mike. And I learned how to play "Spades" (the card game). Once my good mood started to wear off, I began to think that for the next 11 years I would have nothing but me and David together but I would always be by myself while a group has fun doing what they want to. It would always end up with me watching kids (mostly my own David). But what kept me sane? I'm not sure I am. All I know is that I was so overwhelmed with nothing to do but watch the kids, and David always wanting to be held by his mommy, that I cried. I went to our truck, away from everything, and I cried for at least 20 minutes. By the way, thanks Jimmy. If it wasnt for you, I would have thrown something. Thanks for listening. I needed to just vent for a few minutes.

As for the best news I have yet. After a weekend of camping and swimming upriver and fighting the current, my scale now weights me in at 144 lbs! That is prepregnancy weight! That is awesome. 7 more lbs and I will be premilitary weight! I was at 137 when I joined the military. I would feel SO good if I could get to that again. I'm almost there. I'm still not sure what I'm doing to lose weight. Maybe eating less or cook smaller portions. And being active.

I am SO exhausted right now. Didn't get hardly any sleep at all. Went to bed around 2:30am, then at 3:30am a few guys started singing songs from The Sound of Music. It was funny, and annoying, but between the singing and the mosquitoes and the rock hard ground, it will be nice to sleep in my bed. And sleep knowing I weigh a bit less, and no one was looking at my legs. :)