Haven't Met You Yet

This morning I woke up almost two hours earlier than usual. I went about my daily routine (at least, the part that doesn't involve the kids, since they were still asleep). I got up, threw on some shorts and a t-shirt, brushed my hair, filled a glass with iced tea, and sat at the computer to see what everyone was up to on Facebook over the last 10 hours (we went to bed a bit early last night). I noticed an old friend of mine mentioned going to the gym in the morning, and it reminded me of my days in the Navy. When I was in between A-School and Power School, a lot of mornings we would have to get out of bed to go running before we had to go in the building for the day. Oh boy, did I ever hate running. Especially in the morning, when I was too tired to move, and sometimes they would drag us around 5 miles.

But that's not my point. My point was, his Facebook status reminded me that I hated running. So of course, the thought of running popped into my head. I looked out the window and saw that the weather was beautiful, the sun was up but it was cloudy, and it was a nice cool temperature. And suddenly, I wanted to go running (or at least walking) down the driveway a few times. Just to get some exercise, and to enjoy the day before it got too hot. (I actually really enjoyed this run. I guess when you actually WANT to do it, you look at it differently than when you are forced into it.)

Okay, I'm rambling. I hate when I do that... but hey, you dont mind. You like learning things about me, right? :)

So while I was running, I was listening to songs on my phone's MP3 player. The very last song that played at the very end of my mile and a half run was one of my favorites; "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bublé. I've always listened to that song and thought how sweet it was that he was singing to the girl of his dreams; the girl in the future that he knows he will eventually meet, and how just being with her is going to make him a better man. Oh, something you need to know for this part of my story: I have a habit of talking to myself, and imagining that I am talking to someone else next to me, a companion that is always by my side. The face changes on my companion, but their heart never does. They are always there with me, even if they are imaginary. I know how that sounds; but it helps to talk to SOMEONE, and no one ever said they had to be real, so long as you talk out loud. Well, I was talking out loud about how this run is going to be one of the first steps I take towards getting back into shape (or getting into even better shape than before) and developing good feelings about working out. I mentioned to myself how I hate not being happy with myself; I want to love myself completely and not worry about self consciousness or self esteem issues. And then a section of the song filtered past my thoughts, and I had to start the whole song over again when I realized that it had a completely different meaning for me.

Here are the lyrics.

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/michael-buble-lyrics/haven_t-met-you-yet-lyrics.html ]

Now, here's what I thought. If I was singing this song, I'd be singing it to myself. Because I might not love myself completely right now, but someday I know it'll all turn out, and my love will change me. And myself now with the part of me that loves me, together we'll be so amazing, and now I can see every possibility. :) The funny thing is, the very first verse is the part that I can relate to the most right now. "I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track... talk myself in, talk myself out"... I do. I talk myself into realizing that I'm pretty in my own way, and that I'm beautiful inside and out if I just look past everything that I think is a flaw. But then I talk myself out of loving myself, when I'm reminded of how many personal flaws I see every time I look in the mirror. This song just totally took on a completely new meaning for me. I'm not sure I'll ever hear it the same way again. But that's great, because this is a fantastic motivation song for me now. I just have to remember that one day, I'll be united with the part of me that can truly love myself for who I am. I just haven't met me yet :)