This Week

I feel like I've started using this blog as more of a diary than anything. Nothing I've said lately seems to be helpful to anyone at all, but instead just records my thoughts and day-to-day activities. Then again, it's MY space, so does it have to be helpful to anyone else?

I didn't think so.

Anyways, I was scared for this week at first. Monday and Tuesday I had the worst migraines EVER. It started out as a light throbbing and over the course of a half hour, I had pounding in my head, sensitivity to light and sound, and tilting my head in any direction, however slight, only worsened the problem. I had to spend most of Monday and Tuesday in bed, medicated (not that any medicines were working), and attempting to sleep through the pain. The kids were left to destroy the house as they saw fit, and so long as they did it quietly I left them to it.

Wednesday morning comes around and we're up early. Took the kids to my mother-in-law's house, and headed off to town for a day of appointments. Of course, it's not till I'm already in town that I realize I forgot to bring the information about what doctor I'll be seeing Friday, that I was supposed to bring to my therapist. And the information as to who my dentist is and where he's located. Smart move, Crystal.

I get to my therapist's office, and somehow remembered the doctor's name, though I got home and looked and saw that I did give her the wrong appointment time. Oh well, I was off by 20 minutes. Not a big deal, she has my name and my doctor's name, she'll get it worked out. I did talk about my video game a lot, but it's a big thing going on in my life right now. Bright side to it all: I convinced my hubby to come with me to an appointment next month! I'm excited for that, even if all he does is tell my doctor all the bad things about me. That's fine, because this IS about me. But that's a full month away, so we'll see how that goes when it gets here.

Then I found myself with 2 hours to spare before my dentist appointment. I used the internet on my phone to look up local dentists and recognized the one I had scheduled the appointment with, and found the address. I planned on being there at least half an hour early, but I still had way too much time on my hands. On the way to the office (just to make sure I could find it okay) I saw Barnes and Noble bookstore on the corner and decided there was no better place to relax, alone, and pass the time. I caroused the isles for a good hour, spending most of my time in the science fiction / fantasy section. I tried to remember book suggestions my friends had recommended. Just as I was about to check out with another book, I found one. ♥ So I set aside my original book in exchange for The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels and One Story. I love how the back cover says "DON'T PANIC" in big friendly letters. So far I'm on page 6, and it's going to be an amazing book, I can already tell.

I went to the dentist, got my insurance approved almost instantly, and was taken back for X-Rays. Even though I was only there for an exam and to see what work I needed, they informed me that their hygienist just had a spot open up, and if I wanted a cleaning, it was free on my insurance. Well SURE! So I got a free cleaning. Then I saw the dentist, and he informed me that I only had one cavity, but that it had spread between two teeth. One was just a small part that could be easily solved with a filling, but the other tooth was just not salvageable. I was TOTALLY surprised, I expected SO much worse than that. To find out that my only problem is essentially one tooth... He gave me a few options on how to replace it with a new permanent one, and referred me to an oral surgeon (the best one in town, actually) to be examined to see if an implant is an option. So, I go to that examination this afternoon. In about 3 hours, actually.

Yesterday hubby did surprise me... with a date! When I got out of my dentist appointment, he asked me to meet him in town, and we got to go out to our favorite little Italian restaurant in town, and we got to go see The Avengers at the movie theater. He held my hand in public, and we talked and laughed and... it was just really nice. It was the first time we've been on a date in so long... we really needed that, and we need to do it more often, too.

I almost got a headache yesterday, but somehow it cut itself off as it started. I can already feel the slight beat of a headache coming on now, hopefully this one will cut off as well. I'm surprised at how this week as gone so far, I really expected a lot worse. Then again, I still have my exam this afternoon and I still need to see a doctor tomorrow, so it could get worse. We'll just have to see.

My point is though, that I expected so much worse. There has been more good this week than bad (overall, at least I think so). The best part (or the worst, I can't be sure long-term) is that I'm working on self improvement. Seeing a therapist, seeing a dentist, getting medication... I'm making the effort, I'm reaching out, I'm setting up appointments and going to them... I'm doing what I can to fix MYSELF. Getting myself back on track is the first step to knowing what I want out of life. It's not going to be instant, but this week has shown me so far that it's not going to be as hard as I think.