Tornadoes

I hate tornadoes.

Let me rephrase. I REALLY hate tornadoes.

The truth is, I'm terrified of them. I've never been through one in my life, and I'd rather not go through one anytime soon. Or ever, for that matter. The other night I came all too close for my liking, and I hate how I am when I'm scared. I'm overprotective and paranoid, and obsessive and stressed. I'll tell you how things went the other night; you can see for yourself exactly what I'm talking about. Of course, I'll go into much more detail than necessary, but you should be used to that by now. It's my story, I'll tell it how I want to. [insert maniacal laughter here.]


Monday afternoon, my husband comes home from work and tells me that it's supposed to rain this week, and that it might be a good idea to get a big stack of dry firewood in the house. Absentminded as I am, I forgot to get the wood, so Tuesday morning I woke up to an overcast sky, which put me into overdrive; I jumped out of bed, threw on some jeans and a light jacket, and began taking trips from the woodpile to the house. It began sprinkling just as I was tossing the last few logs onto the porch. And so the storm began.

This was a welcome storm at first, and it was coming down slow and steady, moderately heavy but non threatening. It stayed that way throughout the afternoon and into the evening. My mind didn't go back to the weather until after we had gone to bed. Not that going to bed was easy Tuesday night... for some reason it seemed everything wanted to be difficult. Hubby had to be at work an hour earlier, so we had to adjust the coffee pot and the alarm clocks. Neither of the boys wanted to go to bed, so we had to have one settle down in our bed and I had to rock the other one in my rocking chair for almost 15 minutes before he was calm enough to lay him back in his crib. Just as I was finally able to crawl into bed, I started to hear the thunder rolling in the distance.

I woke up around 3:15am to the dog barking. She does this on occasion, nothing out of the ordinary. As usual, I go to the front door, step outside, and give her a scoop of food to calm her down. As usual, it works. But by this time I was awake enough to notice my surroundings; which means the fact that it was pouring down rain and the sky was almost consistently lit up by flashes of lightning. The wind was blowing hard enough that you could hear the windows shaking. It was like the Old Gods were throwing a party, with a disco ball and a booming bass beat.

This is where my mind starts to work on it's own. It's 3:30am. I turn on the TV, flip over to the weather channel, watch and wait for the next live weather update. If the storm is exceptionally bad, there is always a weatherman that will stay in the studio overnight to keep track of things. I could see on the radar that it was a humongous storm system. You know how they use colors to show you the severity of the storm? From light to heavy, they use light green, dark green, yellow, orange, red, maroon... the entire screen, all of Central Texas, was mostly orange, with yellow around it and way too much red and spots of maroon in the center. It put my mind slightly at ease to see that there were no red warnings flashing across the bottom of the screen, and when the "live update" came on, it was obviously not live, but instead simply replayed from whenever it had been filmed a few hours earlier. What put me into panic mode was that apparently our county DID have a weather alert; TORNADO WATCH.

I have to take a break for a second here to talk about the difference between a watch and a warning. Not everyone knows the difference. A watch means that conditions are favorable for that particular weather pattern (be it for tornadoes, flooding, etc.); if you are under a watch, start preparing yourself in case it becomes a reality, and keep yourself informed of any new updates. A warning means that it is happening, possibly even already been sighted, and to take shelter immediately.

So I spent the next few hours glued to the TV. Constantly praying for a new update, and watching the clock for the end of the Tornado Watch. Nothing I did could take my mind off of what would happen if we did get a tornado. I started thinking about what would need to be done, all the things we would need to grab to take into our shelter. We have a round metal building in the yard beside the house that is our best bet for safety should a twister head our way. I started thinking about my boys, and what I would need to do to get them out there. What I would need to be wearing (which is why at 4:00am I was in jeans and a jacket), all the things I would need to grab and where they are, what I would need to do depending on if my husband was home at the time... Just so many things running through my head.

At about 5:00am I went back into the bedroom and laid down, to take advantage of being in bed next to my husband and son before hubby's alarm went off. Within the next half hour both hubby and I were in the living room, him ready to go to work and me sitting on the couch with the television remote in my hands, wishing he wouldn't leave. Of course, he grew up with this kind of weather being the norm, so he wasn't worried at all. He kissed me good bye, and drove off into the pouring rain and thunder. So naturally I became twice as scared. Now, not only was my husband out driving in this, with the roads more than likely flooding, but I was home alone, 2 miles from the nearest people I knew, with a tornado watch in my area and two small children asleep, depending on me to keep them safe.

At around 6:10am or so, in the middle of a live weather update, our county and the one below us got a tornado warning. The weather woman immediately stopped her forecast and went to her computer so she could better see what was going on, and was keeping us completely updated second by second. There was some serious rotation going on just south of our county on the east side and quickly moving up. We were in a tornado watch for another 20 minutes, and I don't think I was breathing for the entire thing. I watched it slowly get tracked up the map, heading toward Marlin... directly in the path my husband would be heading to get to his jobsite. I sent him a text message letting him know that we were under a warning, it was quickly headed that direction, and that I was terrified.

He texted me back telling me to calm down, then called a few minutes later. He reminded me that I knew exactly what to do if I had to, and that he would be fine. Just hearing his voice made me feel better. We got off the phone, and a few minutes later the rotation disappeared off the map. A few minutes after that, the tornado warning expired for the county and everything seemed to brighten up. I texted the hubby back to tell him the good news, then I started to calm down. The storm was moving out of the area quickly, and I only had to get through another 4 hours before all of the warnings and watches would be over. By 8:00am Wednesday morning, as the sun began to rise, the rain grew softer and the thunder and lightning were gone. Hubby called me again and we spoke for a few minutes, and just as I was hanging up my oldest son came walking out of the bedroom crying because he had woken up alone.

I smiled at him, walked him back to bed, and laid down beside him. The sun was up, and I was exhausted, but we were all safe and sound.

I know this was a long story. A long way of saying, "There was a tornado warning in my county the other night, and a rotation passed just to the east of us." But it felt like so much more than that to me. Anyone who is forced to face their fears (or very close to it) knows how I felt.

This experience taught me two things. The first is that I am WAY too paranoid. Just because I happened to be up and watching the weather when we got the tornado warning is no excuse, nor does it make up for my obsessiveness. I do this EVERY time there is a major storm system, and very rarely do they have a chance to produce tornadoes. I need to learn to calm down and think more logically about the situation I'm in. If there is nothing I can do to change or affect something, there is no reason to worry about it. I know exactly what to do in case of an emergency and I have already had a major event in the last year that has tested my ability to think through a crisis (when my 2 year old was bit by a copperhead).

The second thing this taught me was to appreciate what I have. It's true; the grass IS greener on the other side. On the other side of hard times and bad experiences. We get so used to what we have, that it becomes too casual; we take things for granted. But once you go through something that truly scares you or tests you, you wake up the next morning not only with a sense of accomplishment but everything is brighter, everything makes you smile. You never knew a glass of water could taste so good, you know? That's how I felt.

Although, I would still prefer not to have to go through another tornado scare... it was just too close. And I HATE tornadoes...