Oh, the Places You've Been!

Yesterday I officially started working on my son's graduation gift for when he completes high school. Except that my son is only 5 years old right now. It is going to take me 12 years to finish this, but in the end I know my son will appreciate it (and yes, I am going to do this for each of my three kids). It has two parts to it.

The first part is the easy part. This was inspired by my friend Linda, who is doing this for her kids, too. I bought a hardcover copy of the Dr. Seuss book "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" (which just happened to be the 25th anniversary edition).

I know, it's cliche. Everyone buys this book for their graduate. But I looked for another book, one that said the same things and offered the same advice but still gave off the feel that you shouldn't grow up too quickly... and I really couldn't find one. I didn't want it to be a real novel, because I had more in store for him than just a few words of wisdom on a page. And so I kept coming back to this book, eventually deciding to buy it. But wait! There's more.

Every year, at the end of the year, I am going to take the book to my son's teachers. I am going to ask them to sign it, and to include some of their favorite memories with my child. At the beginning of his journey (which is now, in Kindergarten) I am also going to have his principal write something for him, because she was the first. I think I will only ask the principals to sign it when my son is getting ready to leave a school (elementary, middle, high). I wish I could ask every teacher he knows to sign it, but there are just too many. Homeroom, stations, music, PE... so many wonderful teachers. Anyways, this part of his gift will be kept a secret.

The second half of his gift is one he himself will create, even if he doesn't realize it right away.

We are going to make a progressive time capsule. It is very simple, and doesn't take up nearly as much space as a regular time capsule. The best part is that I can back it up on my computer!

In a typical time capsule, you put your favorite things and memories inside, and lock it away for many years. Then, when you open it again (be it 1 year later or 30) you are filled with nostalgia and happiness as you reminisce about each item. Well, I already started a keepsake box for each of my children, that stores memorabilia and (obviously) keepsakes. Favorite school projects, ribbons, awards, pictures, trinkets. But as a graduation gift, it had to be unique and something that would bring back memories of his times in school while still showing him how far he's come.

I am writing up a list of questions. Some examples are:

• What is your favorite color?
• What is your favorite subject in school?
• Who is your best friend?
• What do you like to do after school?
• What is your favorite movie?
• What is your favorite book?
• What is your favorite food?
• What special things happened this year that you want to remember?
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• What does it mean to become an adult?
• Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In 10?
• What would you buy with a million dollars?

I am going to type them up and leave spaces for answers, and a space at the top for a copy of his school picture, then print it out. I will have my son fill it out in his own handwriting, then I will scan it and save a copy to my computer. The page he fills out will be filed in the filing cabinet, but having a backup copy is always a good idea. Every year when school ends, I will have him answer these questions again. And every year the page will be scanned then added to the filing cabinet.

When the time comes that he graduates high school, I will ask him to fill out one last page. Then I will take all the pages together, put them in plastic page protectors, and place them in a small binder to give to him.

He will know about the binder, because he will fill out his page each year. But I will give it to him alongside his Dr. Seuss book, filled with memories. I will do this for each of my kids as they progress through their school years. I want them to not only see firsthand where they have been and how far they have come, but also to see how much I have supported them through it all and encouraged learning and knowledge. Because in the end, I hope my TRUE gift is a love of learning.

What did you do for your graduate? What questions would you ask for a progressive time capsule? Let me know in the comments!

10 Things Memories Have Ruined For Me

We all have parts of life that are stuck in the past. Songs, scents, places. Things that trigger memories. Sometimes they are good memories, like family picnics or meeting your best friend. Sometimes they are bad memories, like traumatic experiences or difficult times. The worst feeling is knowing there are things in your present that you avoid because the memories hurt. I'm trying a little self-healing today, so let's start by facing fear and putting the past where it belongs... behind me. Here are my top 10 triggers. (No specific order.)

1. The song Moon Baby, by Godsmack.

I totally lost my virginity to that song. Not that THAT is the reason I can't listen to it anymore; it reminds me of that guy, and he did some really bad things to me that I'd like to forget.

2. Dark, lonely nights outside.

Sometimes when I'm driving down my driveway late at night, pitch black sky and deathly quiet, I'm reminded of the time my son ran away. So many bad things could have happened to him, it scares me to think of all the "what ifs", and on dark nights like that, all those thoughts just flood in.

3. Bruno Mars.

So, this isn't exactly a bad memory. It's actually a good one. But under bad circumstances. I had a friend that got to see Bruno Mars sing, and he was really excited about it. Problem was, I had gotten too close to him aaaand let's just say it was a bad time for my marriage. But even though it was a bad time, I have a lot of happy memories with him. And I feel guilty for being happy about them. I'm not saying I want to go back to those days, because we've all moved on and I love where I am in life. But I can't listen to Bruno Mars without remembering, so we have to count Bruno in the list of bad triggers.

4. The name Ken.

This has at least three memories attributed to it, one that's not bad but two that are. Ken was the name of an ex that just has a lot of complicated memories attached to him. It was also the name of my stepdad's stepdad. He wasn't a bad guy, but I accidentally tripped him once when I was a kid; I wasn't watching what I was doing and he fell. He had to go to the hospital and everything. He was okay, but he never looked at me the same way. Like he didn't like me and now he hated me. I don't know if he really felt that, but I felt hated and unwanted, and as a child, that's one of the worst things. To KNOW an adult doesn't want you around at all.

5. The name John.

It doesn't matter how you spell it, it's all the same memory. You know how there's always that one name in your life that EVERYONE shares? Every time I meet someone new or someone is telling me about a friend, it's always a Chris or a John. It's inevitable that I'd have enough memories with those names that they bring up the past. Especially the name John.

6. Cheating movies.

Whenever a movie shows a husband or wife being cheated on, they always show the pain they feel. Like in-depth close ups that last 20 minutes long. And how it ruined their life forever. They remind me all too clearly of the pain I caused my husband in the past.

7. My size 7 (and my size 14) jeans.

These might actually become good memories one day. But for now, they are triggers of a time when I was healthy and thin, wearing a size 7. Now my current 14s just remind me of how big I've gotten, and my 7s mock me. Which reminds me that I need to take better care of myself.

8. Dead chickens.

Talk about a horrible thing to trigger a memory! When I was depressed a few years ago, I stopped caring for the animals and garden the way I needed to. The garden was overrun with weeds and soon died, and the chickens became dehydrated and began to die. I lost sight of a lot that year, and the chickens paid the price. I hate reminders of how bad I had gotten.

9. November 17th.

That day, in 2013, is the day I lost my best friend to diabetes. The worst part was not being able to say goodbye. The last interaction we had, if you can even call it that, was two weeks prior to his death. He clicked like to a picture I posted on facebook. A picture of a dog I had, that I don't even have anymore. Just a chain of memories that I'll never have, because he isn't here to make new memories with. He was a great guy and an amazing friend, and he didn't deserve to have his life cut so short. These memories are also often triggered by K-Mart.

10. My family.

This is the one I love to hate the most. It's the best of the worst, and it's self destructive in the most loving way. I seek out its pain every day and it nourishes me. All because of the distance. I love my family, I have great memories of them (and terrible ones, but hey, don't we all?), but those happy memories are the gateway to suffering. My family is split three ways and all across the country. I live too far for them to visit me, and I can only visit one of them a year. Any time I have seen them since moving to Texas, anything I read about them on Facebook, any happy memories I have of time we spent together before I joined the Navy... all remind me of the fact that life is going on without me. I'm not there with them, to laugh or cry or hug. I'm missing parties, graduations, weekend sleepovers, birthdays, family get-togethers, barbecues, walks around the block, visits at work, inside jokes, pictures together... I've become that "distant cousin that I think lives in Texas, she might have some kids but I never met them." It doesn't help knowing that I'm the one that moved away, and I'm happy where I am in life, and I'm never moving back. So basically it's my own fault I'm missing out, and I have no right to be upset about it. Worst. Feeling. Ever.

Now that I've gotten it all out on the table, it's time to sort through it and start putting it away. My family won't get filed away in the past of course, but the pain needs to be. It's time to put that pain and fear and regret to rest.

Minion Twinkie Valentines!

My son's kindergarten class is having their Valentine's Day party Friday (February 13th). We have to have our valentines turned in by then, so my son can pass them out to his class. I saw an image of an idea for a birthday party in Google images, and I wanted to do it for valentines!

The idea?

Minions!

I wrapped Twinkies in minion wrappers and attached them to valentine cards. They came out adorable, I know the class will love them as much as my son does! :)

Here's what you'll need:

• Twinkies
• Printer and paper
• Scissors
• Red construction paper
• Glue stick
• Valentine cards (store-bought or homemade)
• Pen
• Paper clips or heavy stickers

1. First, you'll want to visit Tonya Stabb's blog. She has a free printable on her Despicable Me 2 Party post for minion push-up cupcake wrappers. These fit perfectly around a Twinkie. Print out as many as you will need. Cut out your wrappers.

2. Next, take your glue stick and apply glue to the section of the wrappers that says "Glue here". You might also want to apply some to the inside of the paper on the other end that will wrap around. Just for a little extra "stick". Then wrap a wrapper around a Twinkie and lightly press the glued edges together.

What your Minion should look like so far :)

3. For an added touch of love and affection, take red construction paper and cut out small hearts. Glue one heart to the front pocket of each minion twinkie.

4. Have your child write his name on the valentine cards, and the name of who it will be given to. If you are making your valentines homemade, here are a few cute phrase ideas that were on our store-bought cards:

• I've got my eyes on you
• I've got my EYE on you
• EYE'm stuck on U!
• You're one in a MINION!
• Falling for U

(One in a MINION was my favorite!)

If your valentines cards fold up, go ahead and do that now. Our store-bought ones folded up and sealed with small heart-shaped stickers.

5. Attach each valentine card to the back of a minion twinkie either with a sticker or a paperclip.

To take them to school, I stacked them in a small box inside of a grocery bag. The box makes sure that between picking the bag up and putting it down repeatedly, it won't slowly detach the cards from the twinkies. Anyways, that's all it takes, and it makes the cutest little valentines ever! :)

Now share this post, and go make some valentines!

Pimsleur Italian Lesson 9--A Comedy...?

For the past three weeks, I've been listening and speaking along with Pimsleur Italian lessons. I listen to it every morning on the way to take my son to school. Sometimes I'm not sure I learned a lesson well enough, so I repeat it the following day. It's not a bad way to learn (we'll review a few different language learning methods in a later post). One of the great things about Pimsleur is that it starts you out with words and phrases that will help you get around a bit if you visit a country that speaks the language you are learning.

A few years ago, I was doing Pimsleur Japanese, and it was made very clear how humble and modest the Japanese are in their conversations. They are polite; conversation topics started out with family and work and many different ways to be polite through modesty -- talking them up while talking yourself down. It's like constantly bowing through speech. It's actually  a very nice change from the way people typically talk here in America, where you never know if the next person you talk to will be polite, outspoken, shy, rude, etc.

But these Italian lessons so far are very much centered around food, eating, drinking, getting to restaurants and hotels, and asking others to come along in a big social day out with food, wine, and beer. Not that I'm being stereotypical; that's just the way Pimsleur seems to show it. It makes for some really amusing conversations!

For example: Today I finished Lesson 9 (introducing hours of the day). The last 10 minutes of this lesson, where you are made to act out a conversation between two people, is HILARIOUS. I swear, I was cracking up. A guy keeps asking a girl to drink with him, and not picking up that she definitely doesnt want to. Maybe its funnier in Italian, and when you don't know what he is going to say next. But anyways, it went like this:

GUY: Would you like to drink something with me Miss?
Girl: Not Miss... Mrs.
GUY: Sorry, Mrs... But would you like to drink something with me?
Girl: No thank you.
GUY: Not now?
Girl: And not later.
GUY: But at 1 o'clock, okay?
Girl: It's not okay with me!
GUY: ...at 2 o'clock?
Girl: No thanks--I don't want to.
GUY: Later, at 8 o'clock?
Girl: No thank you.
GUY: Or at 9 o'clock?
Girl: Certainly not!
GUY: Tell me, at what time? At what time would you like to drink something with me?
Girl: No, I do NOT want to drink something with you!
GUY: Ah, I understand now.
Girl: Great, you understand now!
GUY: Yes. You don't want to drink something with me.
...But you would like to eat something with me. [Note: I felt like I could literally SEE her facepalm here.] At the restaurant. At 8 o'clock, or at 9 o'clock?
Girl: Not at 1 o'clock, and not at 2 o'clock. Not at 8 o'clock, and not at 9 o'clock.
GUY: At what time?
Girl: You don't understand, sir.
GUY: What don't I understand?
Girl: You don't understand Italian, sir.

It's especially funny because in a previous lesson, a guy asked a girl to have a drink with him, and she said yes. So he asked what she wanted to drink. She says some wine, and then he asks "Would you like to drink some beer?" (Ummm no, I just said wine?) She says sure anyways. He asks where she wants to get that drink, and he says, "At the restaurant?" But she replies, "No, at your place." She knows he has a blatant disregard for her wants and yet she still goes home with him.

These lessons are so amusing. Definitely keeps me entertained, and wanting to do more. Good job, Pimsleur! Haha :)