When Mommy Takes the Day Off

If you couldn't tell from my last post, I had a very bad day yesterday. So last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I told myself that today, I was not going to do ANYTHING. I'm taking the day off. I planned on sleeping in, snacking all day, sitting down at the computer and just playing Castleville and World of Warcraft. When hubby got home, he could make dinner. The only chore I was going to do was make sure the kids were taken care of. That was it.

So here's how my day has gone. (Pay attention and see if you can pick up on what I just realized before typing this.)

I woke up early to hear one of my kids crying. It was much earlier than I had planned to wake up, so I took him out of his crib and laid him down beside me in my bed. That seemed to be all he wanted, and the moment his head touched the pillow he was out again. I fell back asleep for a few more hours, until he had woken up again and was pulling my hair to tell me "mommy, it's time to get up."

So I got up, and looked at the time. It was around 11am. I had succeeded in sleeping in! Mission accomplished. On to my next mission: do nothing all day long.

"What can I get into today?"

 

The first thing I did was make my bed. At least to give the illusion that I did something. I got my son changed and dressed so he would be ready for the day, and right about then my older son wakes up. So I also get him changed and dressed, and I get them both something to drink. I used clean cups from the dish strainer, and went ahead and put away all the other dishes that were now dry. I realize it's too close to lunch time to get them breakfast, and I'm a bit hungry anyways, so I go in the kitchen and make us all sandwiches. They LOVE peanut butter and jelly, especially the Smucker's Goober stuff, that's both peanut butter and jelly swirled together in one jar. While I'm there I decide that instead of dirtying another knife, I will wash one from the sink really quick, and I went ahead and washed a few more dishes. Before leaving the kitchen I wiped down the counter, prepared the coffee pot for hubby in the morning, and folded the high chair.

"I'll help you do the laundry mom... right after my nap..."

We sit down in the bedroom to eat our lunch, since that is where I planned on being all day. I turn on my computer and bring up Facebook, casually looking through anything my friends have posted over the last 12 hours. There were some toys scattered about though, and the floor was a bit dirty, so in between posts I put the toys in the boys' room and I sweep up real quick. When I turn back to the computer desk I realize that it's a bit cluttered, so I clear away anything that we pulled out and was too lazy to put away afterwards (cups, movies, papers, etc). The boys were pulling things out of the dresser by this time (trying to get dressed, even though I had already dressed them for the day), so I picked those up and put the boys in their room... which I then straightened up as well so they had more playspace.

 Only after the boys were settled in their room did I finally sit down at the computer once more, this time preparing to get started on my gaming. I have yet to log into a single game, because it was about this time that I had a major realization.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

I planned today to be my day off. Before I knew it I had done dishes, folded laundry, cleaned and swept the bedrooms, made the beds, changed and dressed the kids, prepared lunch, got the coffeemaker ready for the morning, cleaned up after lunch, and reorganized the computer desk.

Some day off, huh? I guess for a mommy, it just never ends. Oh well. ♥

Dear Karma

Dear Karma,

Did I do something to you? Did I hurt someone lately without realizing it? Did I do something carelessly that benefited myself and tore someone else down while in the process? I don't see how, since all I ever do is chores.

Today, I admit I've been a bit slow. I didn't finish all the dishes, I didn't do all the laundry, and I didn't mop the living room. But I did makes the beds, do most of the dishes, wipe down the counters, get the coffeemaker set up for my hubby in the morning, made food for the kids, sit them in the living room with their "Your Baby Can Read" video, pick up their toys, sweep the bathroom, put down the rugs, sweep the bedroom and the hallway, and took out the trash. After all that, I still had enough energy (just barely, but enough) to go outside and feed the animals. Just as I was about to head inside, I looked around the front yard. With everything that keeps me busy inside the house, and the fact that I don't do anything outside anyways, hubby and I made a deal that I would take care of inside, and he would take care of outside. Needless to say, outside wasn't looking too good. A trash bag had been ripped open (whether by wind or the dog, I'm not sure) and trash was all over the yard, the leaves from fall hadn't been raked up, and it was just a mess. Out of the goodness of my heart, I decided that I would be nice and clean it up. I went around the yard, picked up 90% of the trash, remembered that the rake is in the back of hubby's truck so I swept up 70% of the leaves with the broken off head of the outside broom, and straightened up a few things that were not trash or leaves.

After all that, having been outside for about 30 minutes, and having left the kids in their bedroom playing with their toys, I come inside to a disaster. The movies on the bottom 4 shelves of the entertainment system were all over the living room floor. In the kitchen, the coffeemaker was open, and the scoops of coffee grounds were on the counter, inside the coffee pot, inside the coffeemaker underneath the filter, and also inside the coffeemaker next to it that I use specifically for brewing tea. There were some clean dishes that were now in the sink, 3 broken pieces of plastic silverware that I had washed to reuse, one of my youngest son's spoons was bent at an odd angle, and there was water on the floor. In my bedroom, half a stack of my brand new mint-condition World of Warcraft Trading Cards were spread out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, about 20 cards are now bent or scratched. I hope I have doubles of those, because they are no longer good enough to go in my collection. Now, my kids are usually VERY well behaved when I have to feed the animals, and it does not take me more than 20 minutes on a normal day. Yes, I took an extra 10 minutes to pick up the yard, but how was that a bad thing?! I don't know what you put into their heads today to make them cause so much trouble in such a short period of time, but I do not like it.

Everything I did today, not only of my normal chores but also going out of my way to do something that I didn't even have to do, and I get this in return? Are you telling me that I shouldn't plan ahead by making the coffeepot ready before morning? Are you telling me that I can't have nice things? Is this punishment for something? Maybe I should have mopped the living room, maybe I should have completed the last of the dishes and laundry, and maybe I should have started a big fancy dinner hours in advance. I would have done all of those things if that's what it would have taken to prevent more work for me to do.

I do not feel as if I deserved what you gave me today. I understand that you may see this as me complaining, but I needed to say something. I disciplined the children and made them clean up what parts of their mess they were capable, and they have spent the afternoon in their bedroom. They knew that what they did was wrong, and I got plenty of hugs and kisses in apology. Unless you are going to tell me exactly what it is I did that you had an issue with, I expect tomorrow to be better.

Sincerely,
Crystal

Cautiously Optimistic

Other than a few bumps in the road (and what road doesn't have bumps?) today has flowed by at a nice even pace, leaving me cautiously optimistic. You know that feeling you get sometimes, when so many good things happen in a row that you just know something bad is going to happen? That's why I say "cautiously." It's like... I'm happy with the way things are going and I'm slowly starting to breathe comfortably again, but I'm bracing myself for when the sock full of rocks hits me in the head (that is an ongoing joke with my brother, I don't expect you to understand it; imagine instead just about any quick and unexpected object slamming into your skull-- it has the same effect).

The first good thing I got today was that I woke up with some amount of energy. Not a lot at first, but just the fact that I opened my eyes and actually wanted to keep them open is a big deal for me. I glanced over to the other side of the bed, where this time of morning (around 9 ish) I expect to see one or both of my boys. Neither of them were there. I sat up and listened for a moment, and did not hear them. I leaned over the edge of the bed and glanced down the hallway, into the boys' room (where I have a clear view of my youngest son's crib). He was still sound asleep. I was able to slowly get out of bed and get dressed without any hair pulling, crying, jumping, or rushing. It was very nice!

I tiptoed into the boys' room and saw that they were both still sleeping peacefully. I went back to my room and began working on the activities listed on my daily chart (you can read more about that on my post, Charting my Habits). I made my bed (which was NOT messed up immediately by jumping toddlers), I folded and put away ALL the laundry (which was NOT messed up immediately by curious toddlers) and I cleaned and swept the living room (which was NOT messed up immediately by snacking toddlers). It was amazing. I was able to enjoy my clean house for almost 2 hours without a crumb out of place.

I then went into the kitchen and washed ALL of the dishes, made myself a bagel, and was able to calmly sit down and SLOWLY eat it. In peace. I felt like I was being spoiled. When I was done eating I wiped down all the counters and the stove, then swept. By this time (around 11 am) the boys had begun waking up. I went into their room and put away their laundry, made their beds, and got them changed and dressed. We all went into the living room and I put on "Your Baby Can Read" while they ate their breakfasts. I mopped the house really quick, and when their video was over we went to the bathroom to brush teeth. My son is SO good about brushing his teeth. He's barely even three, but quite a few times a day he brings me his toothbrush and points to the faucet for me to turn on the water. He lets me take the brush first and clean his teeth, then I rinse it off and hand it to him so that he can brush them himself. He does such a great job! He watches me brush my teeth, and does everything I do. After he was finished, I let the boys play in their room (which I had been slowly cleaning up throughout the day) and I went into my room to check a few things off my chart... and before I knew it, realized that we had completed EVERYTHING on the list!

Right about then, my mother in law came over to pick up my oldest son. Today she's taking him to the rodeo, "to watch the cowboys ride the bulls." He was told about this Wednesday and has spent the last few days wandering the house in his cowboy hat saying "Yee haw!" It's adorable. Once they were out the door, I laid my other son down with a bottle and let him take a nap while I spot cleaned a few more things around the house and my bedroom, then checked Facebook. That was a few hours ago. It has been a nice, peaceful day... things are getting done quickly and efficiently... and to top it all off, it's Friday!

So, a few things I noticed about my chart system, which I'm excited about. I unknowingly (or perhaps subconsciously?) chose activities for this list that are making me do more than I expected. I finished the dishes today, so what did I do? I felt the need to complete that item and not just "check it off" so I wiped down every hard surface in the kitchen. Sweeping the house can't be done unless the toys and such are picked up off the floor. So I picked things up, put them where they belong, and before I knew it the bedrooms were cleaned and organized. I folded all of the laundry, and having an empty laundry basket inspired me to collect any loose articles of clothing that might have ended up lying around the house (a few socks and a shirt). Knowing that 'working out' is on my list has made me think twice about piling that second serving onto my plate, or grabbing that Coke can before noon. I wasn't expecting to get so much extra done just by listing a few basic activities/chores. Today marked day 10 of my chart, and I'm still following through. I'm very optimistic about this chart system, and so glad to see positive results so early. It's very motivating.

One more exciting turn of events recently-- new internet! As many of you know, my husband and I play World of Warcraft together in the evenings. The problem is, Blizzard (the company who makes the game) does not support satellite internet. We can play the game, but it lags. What that means is that when we click a button, it takes a few seconds for the game to register that we pressed that button, and any actions we take in the game are affected. We have never been able to truly enjoy the game, because we are always worried that the smallest rain cloud outside will disconnect us, or that our lag will get worse when we attempt to interact in any parts of the game that get more intense (such as battlegrounds, raids, or dungeons). My husband has been searching for any possible way to get us a better internet connection... but sadly, living so far from town has it's price. For us, that means no such internet connection exists.
...or does it?

My hubby decided to test out the Verizon Wireless 4G LTE Mobile Hotspot. He ordered it online and it arrived the other day. We turned it on, and our computers recognized a new wireless internet connection. We connected to it... logged into World of Warcraft... and the magic began. Our latency (the amount of lag we experience) which on satellite internet was 1500 at it's lowest, was now 158 on this Hotspot! We tested it out for a few hours. We were able to do those "intense" situations in game-- the battlegrounds, the raids, the dungeons-- all of it. Without disconnecting. Without lag. It is an entirely new game to us, and we LOVE it. We are continuing to use our satellite internet on regular web browsing and downloading, since the Hotspot has a monthly allowance of 5GB, but our evening entertainment is much more relaxing and much less frustrating.

So, that being said, it has been a pretty amazing day... I think that if I continue to stick to my chart, I can continue to see more energy, and keep a positive outlook on things. Especially with this new internet to unwind to in the evenings. Speaking of, I think I'll go log on now... See ya later, blog. =)

Charting my Habits

I've never been very good at keeping good habits (go figure). I don't adhere well to a routine, and I am always procrastinating or forgetting to do certain chores, and my house suffers because of it. My body suffers because of it. My mental well-being suffers because of it.

So I did some deep thinking (my kids might call it the Noodle Dance, though no dancing was involved) and I came up with my new Chart system. It's been in effect for 8 days now, and I'm already seeing positive changes! Here's how it works.

I wrote a short list of things that I want to get done every day. Keep it basic, too. I would suggest starting with maybe 5-7 items. Any more than that may be too much to handle. For example:

-Brush teeth (and kids') twice a day
-Watch Your Baby Can Read twice a day
-Dishes
-Laundry
-Make the beds
-Sweep
-Work out

I put it in chart form with the days of the month, and a check box for each item each day. The trick here is KEEP IT SIMPLE. You're trying to form good habits, and overloading yourself from the start is not the way to do it. Baby steps. Focus on just accomplishing each item, and not how much of each item you accomplish. Don't say "do ALL dishes", don't say "sweep the ENTIRE house", and don't say "Work out for an hour, do 20 pushups and run a mile." Also, don't put a time limit on them or specify when it has to be done each day. No "make the beds at 10am" or "brush teeth at 7 and 4". Check off the item if you did it at all. I swept the living room, therefore "sweep" can be checked off. I did one load of dishes, and I washed a load of laundry (even if I didn't fold it), therefore "dishes" and "laundry" can be checked off. To form a good habit, the first step is getting used to doing those things at all.

Do this for at least a week. If you are still not sure you're comfortable with it, go another week. Just get used to doing at least the basics of each item. You'll be surprised at how quickly doing the basics can lead you to do other chores without realizing it or having to talk yourself into it. I did the dishes the other day, and without thinking about it also wiped down the entire kitchen and made a new pitcher of tea.

After you are comfortable with these activities, then you can slowly start to modify them and add details. Small details. As I said, baby steps. You can change "Make the beds" into "Make the beds before lunch." You can change "work out" into "work out for at least 15 minutes." Anything small like that. Don't add details to everything at the same time, either. I would suggest making one change a week.

Over time, you will not only gain these positive habits, but you will also feel better about yourself. I know it makes me feel accomplished and proud of myself every time I check off an item, and I am excited every time I have completed every item in a day. Plus, doing all of these things has made my house cleaner, I have more energy, and I feel like I am in control. Over time, I expect that I will no longer need a chart; these things will be such a normal part of my day that I will not need a chart to get them done.

Don't be discouraged if you miss something one day. Or even 2 things. The point is to form good habits, not to put yourself on a strict schedule. You can even set yourself a few basic ground rules (notice this entire thing is very BASIC; I keep it that way for a reason). For example, I don't let myself miss the same item 2 days in a row. If you miss something one day, don't take it overboard the next day. There is no need to "make up for lost time" on this. It's OKAY to miss something.

It also helps to give yourself little rewards for accomplishing your chart, either each day or each week. I might tell myself, "If I go all week and miss 3 items or less, I will order pizza on Saturday." Or maybe, "If I complete each item in a day, I will have a bowl of ice cream!" (I realize I just used two examples in which food was the reward; that's actually not a good habit to get into in itself... but I haven't had dinner yet so I'm hungry. A better reward might be to take a nice long bath, or play video games for an extra hour. If you do reward yourself with food or snacks, don't make it a normal thing. It's okay every once in a while.)

The details are all up to you. Just remember: keep it simple, take baby steps, and you'll have good habits before you know it! =)